


And Then You Were At My Door

by Darkgoddess07



Series: Doors, Windows and Mirrors [1]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Assassination plot, Bonding, Cadet and professor, Grumpy Bones, M/M, Starfleet Academy, T'hy'la, Vulcan
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-23
Updated: 2017-07-15
Packaged: 2018-08-10 12:24:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 14
Words: 30,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7844851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darkgoddess07/pseuds/Darkgoddess07
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It all starts with a collapse. Then suddenly Spock and Jim are pulled  into a plot of murder, crime and conspiracy that could spell the end of the Enterprise command crew before that it even begins. </p>
<p>Tensions and violence run thick all the while the soon to be captain and first officer struggle to ignore their growing feelings for one another.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. You Forgot To Knock

**Author's Note:**

> This is a first for me. I've never written fanfic before so please be patient with me. Any spelling or grammar mistakes you spot just let me know and any suggestions would be appreciated. Thank you and I hope you enjoy.

Jim hated waking up, always had.

So when on a particularly frigid winter night Jim found himself looking up at the ceiling instead of his eyelids he was fairly pissed. To think that the universe had the audacity to wake up the soon to be great James T Kirk. 

Frustration and indignation lay heavy on his chest making him want to toss and turn. He knew it was stupid to be so annoyed at things he couldn't change but the gleeful way the world and the universe at the large toyed with Kirk's in general left him weary of anything he couldn't control or win. 

At his side he could hear Bones snoring though the sound was muffled due to the fact the grumpy doctor would be trying to suffocate himself with his pillow. How Bones could sleep on his front still baffled Jim but when questioned the doctor would insist he would fall asleep on his back only to wake a few seconds away from asphyxiation every morning. The whole thing entertained Jim greatly and would often end in a rather childish pillow fight early in the morning. Smirking at the memory of their bedding battles Jim snuggled back into his bed attempting to chase the last ribbons of his sleep.

Two minutes later saw him once again staring up into the darkness.

Something was wrong. 

A tugging.

A pull.

An itch at the back of Jim's head that told him it wasn't his roommates simulated smothering that had awoken him but instead something painful and just out of reach. Unable to place the feeling exactly but knowing he needed to stop it he rose from his bed. Silently cursing the night as he stepped across the cold floor on bare feet.

Entering the main living area without incident he stopped at a lose. The room was a mess of notes, books and empty coffee mugs. The familiarity of this was a warm wave that washed over Jim as he took in the smell of stale coffee and antiseptic, the room awash with the bright moonlight that streamed through the window. The comfort of his dorm only lasted a minute however before it was once again replaced with the unknown dull pain in his head. 

On edge and more than a little upset that he couldn't place the feeling that had drawn him from the land of the dreamers. The mystery of his sleepless night was a bitter tasting puzzle that stuck in his throat. Avoiding anything that would enough noise to wake his comatose roomate, Jim made his way across the room to the front door. After a pause making sure Bones was snoring and therefore breathing, he disengaged the lock. 

In the few seconds it took for the door to slide open with a gentle hum two thoughts went through the young cadets head. 

The first being he'd just invited in his murderer who would take advantage of the fact he was the only one in the whole dorm who was stupid enough to open the door. 

The second thought was that the door would open to a beautiful Orion girl wearing nothing but a trench coat and smile. 

He knew which one he preferred but he felt he'd never hear the end of it from Bones either way who would be equally disapproving of Jim getting laid or brutally murdered.   
All this became irrelevant however when the door finally did completely open. He knew somewhere, somehow a sentinel being was laughing at how they were screwing around with James Tiberus Kirk's life. The universe truly hated him. For on his doormat was a Vulcan. 

A Vulcan in a instructors uniform. 

A Vulcan who was bleeding over the carpet in a very green fashion.

A Vulcan who didn't seem to be breathing.

Bones was going to kill him.


	2. Not The First Time You Stood There

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spock practices arson. Jim is a terrible liar

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this took so long I just had my results so this weeks been a bit hectic. Sorry again hope you enjoy this chapter

This odd scene of Spock laying ,let's face it, pretty much dead on Jim's doorstep was not in fact the pair's first meeting. Instead the fateful crossing of paths took place 5 months earlier in an empty corridor and went a bit like this:

Jim was staggering a little as he waltzed though the near silent science block. His new uniform boots hadn't been broken in yet and rubbed at his feet painfully as he pretended to walk with confidence and ease. Self assurance rolled out of him in waves drawing the eye away from the insecurities he felt inside. Despite the fact no one was around he still clung to his facade seemingly unable to stop faking everything. 

This performance of a well rounded person shouldn't have had an audience or at least Jim thought as much until a baritone voice drowned out his echoing foot falls. 

"Cadet what are you doing at this late hour?" Now if you asked Jim he would say that he turned slowly and calmly with a grin, however if you ask Spock he'll tell you that Cadet Kirk responded with a scream akin to a banshee. 

"Um nothing?" Jim breathed as he caught his breath after definitely not screaming. 

He'd stopped, turned and was now looking into the frosted brown eyes of the in campus Vulcan whose name, if Jim could remember sounded an awful lot like spoon. Jim didn't know this from any particularly special attention he had for the hybrid but instead he grasped the passing trails of gossip ribbons that twirled around the start of the year. He'd heard idle mutterings of the strict professor whose was far to handsome for his own good.and cold enough to rival a fringe in Iceland had left Jim curious however after his first few conquests of his 3 year stay at the Academy he'd let the interest slip to the back of his mind. 

"I repeat cadet what are you doing at this late hour?" Spock stated in a crisp clipped tone. 

Unable to sleep or meditate Spock had taken to walking around the Academy to burn off physical energy in order to press forward his hovering exhaustion. During this venture he'd come across a young cadet with blonde hair who seemed startled by his presence. Unable to tell whether the surprise was due to a suspicious act on the cadets part or Spock's near silent foot falls, Spock decided to do what he does best, interrogate. 

"And I'll repeat professor that I was doing nothing," Kirk raised his chin and looked at the Vulcan with thinly veiled disdain. He'd didn't particularly have a problem with the Vulcan but he'd had a rough evening and he didn't know if he could hold himself together if those chocolate brown eyes kept looking at him like that. He really didn't want to be nasty. Honest.

If Spock could of sighed he would have. "Why are you in the science block at 4:07 in the morning?" the cadet was now shuffling from foot to foot a lop sided grin on his handsome face.

"I was having sex under one of the desks with a beautiful woman Sir," Jim was just oozing smugness now, he had sex appeal and he knew it, no one would doubt he'd do such a thing and admit to it. 

Even a Professor/Computer would believe it. 

Spock didn't believe it. 

Something ugly and expressive deep in his stomach told him it wasn't true. A little frightened by his own certainty, he drew instead the more plausible conclusion that the cadet did not smell like he'd part taken in intercourse recently and he was therefore lying. Despite his perfect mask sign of his doubt must've come through because the cadet suddenly looked crest fallen. His grin falling away and his eyes shinning over. A tang in the air told Spock that the cadet was distressed and it left him feeling uncomfortable and nauseous. 

Wanting the feelings that this young man brought out in him to stop he said simply: 

"Humans require rest, cadet please return to your dorm room immediately," the look of gratitude the cadet gave him made his lower temperature raise a few degrees leaving him tingly and warm. 

At a lose for words, Spock was left a prisoner to those blue eyes even as they broke away. 

"Thank you, Professor." Instead of giving the Vulcan his trademark grin he opted for a small smile careful not to look into those bewitching brown eyes. After a brief pause it seemed clear that the Vulcan wasn't going to reply so instead Jim began walking in the direction he'd come accepting his turn with a nod and a swing of the hips. The gorgeous instructor was still standing in the corridor like a statue he could tell. He hoped with a dash of mischief that Spock was watching his ass as he left however when he glanced back just before he needed to take a bend the Vulcan was gone as silently as he'd come. 

Spock was rushing back into the depths of the science lab noisily and with little of his usual grace. To a human he was still moving at normal calculated precise stride however a Vulcan would have noticed the racket he was making along with a few missteps. With a simple facial expression an unnamed cadet had managed to incapture Spock completely. Shaken and conflicted, Spock remained stoic on the outside as he returned to his room, his mind a storm his face did not reflected. 

As he entered his room, locking the door behind him he knew he needed to meditate. His shields were straining and stretching, creaking under his minds pushes. Without even any preparation he sank down hard than necessary onto his mat which he'd left out from the night before. Unlike his botched attempts before he fell deep within his mind without any resistance  
****************  
Standing within the red dunes of Vulcan, Spock surveyed his mind scape. Sparse it always had been it was just hill upon hill of sand. However upon further inspection you would find the landscape a wash of patterns. The sand slithering and sliding over itself forming thoughts that flew up into the air to burst into colourful showers of grains and sparks. 

Spock stood under such an explosion now closing his eyes as he was washed in a soft yellow light that held him close. His desert was gone replaced by him mother's kitchen. The room was warm, quiet, he looked upon it as a 5 year old would with an opportunists eye. It took him no time to the stool in the corner and even less to drag it across the sun warmed tiles towards the counter. In his childish reasoning it only seemed right for him to gain access to the top forbidden cardboards. This self entitlement held by a child who felt he was old enough to do anything led to Spock sitting on the counter with his legs over the edge, blinking owlishly, covered in flour. 

That's how his mother had found him perched on the side doing an impression of a small Vulcan ghost. Spock had concluded during his powder shower that his mother would punish him and tell his father, however he did not in fact expect his mother to howl with laughter. Surprised he just watched her giggle until she was bent double and gasping, eventually she was subdued to a chuckle. Still fearing a telling off, Spock sat still and watched his mother. He was shocked again when instead of raising her voice she just left the room. Befuddled by his mother's behaviour he waited for her to return with his father. Instead Amanda reappeared with a pad and began taking pictures. 

Click " I know what you were planning Spock" Click " I'm not going to shout at you, these pictures will be punishment enough in a few years time."

Not seeing how the pictures would be a problem when he was older but relived none the less he wasn't being shouted at, Spock nodded. 

The picture faded slowly becoming fuzzy and distorted until all that was left was the echoes of his mother's chuckles. 

Again he was in the desert of his homeland only this time he didn't wait for the patterns to fly up and explode. He knelt in the red sand letting it warm his hands as he grasped a particular pattern it was hot to the touch and exploded in flashes of blue and gold when he threw it high above his head. 

Instead of falling away with the feeling he focused on the sand grains beneath his feet that were getting between his toes. It was difficult to ignore as the sparks and flashes carried so much love and comfort Spock nearly collapsed and let the colour take him. Intent on staying strong he tried to remove the explosions from overhead imagining instead the calm night above him. However the feeling only intensified angered at his inattention, pulsing hit red sparks that stung his cheeks. Only slightly deflated Spock instead imagined a candle, a thick ivory one appearing at his feet. As if anticipating his intent the sparks came closer fizzling and crackling in excitement. 

Holding the the candle away from him he pictured the spark taking root on the wick and with hunger akin to the eternally starved the spark leapt upon the candle becoming a content blue, gold flame that flickered and danced. Oddly happy ,as though he'd achieved something even if he wasn't sure what it was, Spock crawled back out of his mind content and calm.  
****\\**\\***   
He was more content then he'd been since he entered the academy. Maybe that Cadet wasn't all that bad. 

Said cadet was at the time getting a rather heated lecture from his roommate about sleep and its correspondents with intelligence. When Bones finally ran himself dry and Jim was aloud to retiree to bed he dreamt of a candle. It's blue gold flame bringing him light in the darkness.

The next day Jim remembered nothing of his dream and thought little of the Vulcan professor, similarly Spock thought little of the blonde haired cadet or the candle he light and left burning in the the desert. 

It wasn't until Spock lay unconscious at Jim's feet it became clear fate wasn't finished with them and it was intent for them to cross paths even if it took a knife and a restless night.


	3. Guests At Our Door?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spock plays sleeping beauty. Jim hosts a pyjama party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter was only supposed to be part of another chapter but I felt it deserved it's own spot. I hope you enjoy it and thank you for reading.

"You're an idiot"

"What? How am I an idiot?"

"It's your fault, you found him"

Jim turned around to look at his best friend incredulously.

"It's not my fault he decided to pass out at our door" Jim snapped as Bones fused over his patient who they'd unceremoniously dragged over the threshold and on to their sofa.

"Oh but it is. If you weren't a magnet for trouble then he wouldn't be here bleeding out" Bones shot back as he cut away at the professor's jacket and shirt. Trying to ignore his baser instinct to clock McCoy in the head with a pillow as well as the weird fluttering he felt when he glimpsed Spock's pale skin he took to pacing once again. He'd been lapping about 4 meters of carpet for about five minutes and had only stopped when Bones had claimed his idiocy.

He was oddly worried. A ball of nervous energy was churning around inside him wanting to get out but not really knowing how. 

It had been a mighty tasking waking his roommate who slept on even when Jim pinched his nose shut. Deciding that the good doctor was used to suffocation from his sleeping position, Jim had taken drastic tactics to wake McCoy. He called Bone's Pad alert, well more hacked, calling in a red alert. The device made a shrieking sound that had Bones bolt up right quicker than Jim could get out the way. This left a panicked doctor holding his throbbing head as he spoke a line of obscenities long enough that Jim was sure he could have knitted it into a scarf. 

"What in God's name is going on?" He raged as he stared up at his roommate who stood over him with a Pad in one hand and green ink smeared across the other.

"You see the thing is," Jim grinned sheepishly, " I may have found a unconscious Vulcan on our doorstep who seems to have been stabbed," he rushed out. He'd expected his friend to jump into action the picture of medical professionalism. He should have known better. If anything McCoy only seemed to get angrier.

"Do you think I'm an idiot?" Jim sighed and left the room leaving his friend fuming in bed. He returned seconds later with a picture on his Pad that showed their doormat. Except in this picture their door mat had a lot more limbs and had seemed to have sprouted pointed ears. Instead of speaking Bones silently got out of bed quickly making his way to their door which hung open. Jim followed behind stopping as McCoy did. 

 

He turned simply saying:

"Well take his legs then," 

 

Now thirty minutes later, Spock was mostly patched up and most not going to bleed out everywhere and Bones and Jim were bickering again. 

"We need to take this to Starfleet Jim we need to," Bones insisted even as Jim shook his head. 

"We can't Bones not yet we don't know what happened and maybe when he wakes up we'll find out it has something to do with Starfleet," Jim waved him off. 

"Why can't you trust command?" McCoy snarled. 

Jim stopped pacing snapping his head to look at McCoy, "You know why."

His gaze softened even as Jim's hardened. 

"Jim..."

"No, we'll wait till he's awake and then see who we tell," Jim went back to pacing his head down and his shoulders up. 

Leonard signed, "I'm sorry Jim." All he got was a grunt in reply but Kirk's shoulders did relax slightly. 

Eventually, Jim slowed to a stop and looked over at McCoy, he went to speak but just as he opened his mouth there was a soft knock at the door. Panic appeared on both their faces as they rushed about to cover Spock as best they could. With a silent nod ,once they’d draped Spock in a blanket and set the lights to 20%, Jim moved to the door and disengaged the lock. 

The door hissed open and revealed a rather disheveled Chekov who was clad in space pajamas. He was rubbing his eyes sleepily, looking younger than his fourteen years. 

“Capzin what is zhe matter? I heard voices,” He blinked lazily at Jim with his big doe eyes as he tried to see past him into the now dark dorm room behind him. 

“Nothing kid,” Jim grinned as he omitted all the confidence he could. “I just had a nightmare that’s all.” Chekov didn’t look convinced though but he nodded and started to back away from the door, his eyes and feet dragging. Jim closed the door when he was sure the youngest Starfleet cadet was definitely in his dorm room which was next store to Jim’s and Bone’s. With the door closed, McCoy rose from his hiding place behind the sofa and uncovered Spock was now completely patched up and seemed to be sleeping deeply. 

“That kid is a curious little thing you sure you got rid of him?” McCoy looked worried as he hovered over his surprise patient. 

“Bones I’m sure. Even his curiosity can’t win over tiredness, I guarantee he is snug in his bed right now,” Jim perched on their coffee table looking over Bone’s shoulder. There was a pause and then a very distinctive knock at the door. Jim leaped up as Bone’s threw a blanket over Spock and divided behind the sofa. The door opened to reveal a more alert Chekov flanked by a near comatose Sulu and a very angry looking Uhura. 

“Capzin what is zhe matter i want to know the truth,” he was utterly determined and Jim near instantly caved. 

With a sigh he called, “Bones, come out and show them you know who,” McCoy popped out from his hiding place and pulled away the blanket to reveal Spock. Chekov gasped and looked upset. 

Sulu led with a, “Oh my God, Jim what happened?”

Followed by Uhura hissing angrily, “What have you done, Kirk?” 

Deciding to ignore Uhura and her accusation Jim looked at Sulu and said simply.

“I found him at our door with a stab wound which Bones has patched up.”

“How did you know he was here? Shouldn’t you have been asleep?” Uhura looked at him with narrowed eyes her jaw set. 

“I couldn’t sleep,” was Jim’s plain reply before he went to join Chekov who had gone to sit with Bones on the floor between the sofa and the coffee table. Sulu followed coming to sit by Chekov’s side while Uhura chose to perch on a sofa armrest. 

As she gazed down at the sleeping Vulcan, Jim noted a softness that came upon her. For some reason he felt an ugly, sharp feeling pulsing in him as he watched her make gooey eyes at Spock. It was strange and uncomfortable so he looked away quickly, drawing his attention to the conversation Sulu, McCoy and Chekov had struck up. 

“So what happened to him?” Chekov questioned looking towards Jim and McCoy. 

McCoy answered first, “He was attacked by a blade and it looked like the attacker knew what he was doing,” he paused and leaned forward to fiddle with Spock’s discarded blanket, “The injury was centimeters from his heart, a little to the left and he’d be dead.”

The room was silent. Jim couldn’t breath, he couldn’t understand why the idea of this professor who he’d only met once dying terrified him so much he felt like crying. The depth of his feelings on the matter flawed him and jumped when his trance was broken by Sulu speaking.

“Then the attacker who ever they were knew how to kill a Vulcan,” Bones nodded again.

“What are we going to do?” Uhura’s voice was quiet and calm, nothing like her usual angry self. Confused as to her change in tone Kirk looked up at her but she seemed entranced by Spock. Again Jim was confronted by a emotion that was a horrible mixture of jealousy and possessiveness that left him breathless and flushed. Bone’s sent him a questioning look both for an answer and to question his sudden shift in behavior. 

Jim sighed and looked away from Uhura.

“We keep him here and wait for him to wake up,” They all went to protest but he held up his hand giving them a hard look. “The plan goes as follows: Bones you’re going to look after him here, Sulu and Uhura you are going to go out tomorrow and see if you can find anything about what happened and the boy wonder and I are going to hack into Starfleet,” He finished with a wicked grin. 

“Why are we hacking into Starfleet?” Chekov questioned. 

“Well we need to see if there’s any footage on the security feeds and then delete it and of course we all need to explain our absences don’t we? It’s so much easier to go around the yellow tape.” Chekov nodded and returned Kirk’s grin with one of his own. 

No one else put forward any queries or questions so Jim clapped his hands loudly and rose to his feet. 

“Okay crew off to bed with you I've already pulled all nighters for other professors i don’t want to it for another,” They all stood as he shooed them out of the door. Uhura was the last to leave as she grazed her hand across Spock’s arm which was draped across his chest. The tender movement coupled with her tender expression made Jim;’s skin crawl horribly. After another soft look towards the unconscious Vulcan she strode out the dorm room without a backward glance.

Jim sighed and turned to Bones just as the door shut, His roommate had a raised eyebrow and was looking somewhat amused.

“Snug in his bed huh? That kid is nearly as bad as you,” Jim laughed softly as he unconsciously moved closer to their sleeping companion. McCoy’s jaw cracked as he yawned. 

“Bones go to bed,” Jim smiled. McCoy made to go but paused at their bedroom door.

“Are you coming?”

“Yeah, I’ll be just a minute,” he waved him off, so Bones shrugged and left.

Jim stood in their living room looking down at Spock, after a while when he legs began to ache he sat down in the gap where they’d all sat minutes earlier. There he sat unable to place the feeling he needed to stay by the Vulcan’s side. He had intended to go back to bed despite what Bones would later argue. It was in fact a surprise when he awake the next morning under the coffee table sporting a rather uncomfortable neck ache staring up at his laughing roommate through the tables glass.

“Come on Jimbo, we’ve got work to do,” all he got in return was a rather loud groan that only made him laugh harder.   
“Fuck you, Bones.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will be up soon and it will have more Spock I promise.


	4. It Wasn't You Was It?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spock forgets how breathing works while Jim plays Sherlock Holmes and Captain all at once.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was well and truly a beast and I love it already. I hope you enjoy

Spock was floating. Laying out flat, he was suspended by an invisible force. Above him he could see the surface, light from the sun dancing too weak to reach Spock at his depth leaving him surrounded by darkness. Despite his awareness, Spock couldn’t feel anything not the movement of the water or the temperature. Oddly he felt no panic or fear even as he identified he wasn’t breathing. 

 

There he stayed for an unmeasurable time under no stress. 

It was quiet.

It was still. 

And then suddenly it wasn’t.

 

He could feel something. His hand was burning, hot. Spock gasped breathing in water, it tasted sweet like cinnamon. What was this sensation? This warmth. Whatever it was he needed it more than life itself. 

 

Spock struggled up and began to claw at the water, pulling himself through the water with acute desperation. Although the water was opaque and he could see the surface his movement only gained him a few centimeters before he had to stop and lay flat once more. He gulped in mouth fulls of water as he looked up at the surface. 

 

His hand was still warm but he felt a sense of foreboding that told him the sensation was soon going to come to an end. Although his struggle had only gained him minimal success he felt that something had changed. The darkness wasn’t as pronounced as before and he had begun to sense things. It wasn’t his precise alertness nor was he close to awaking and leaving his own mind but he was suddenly aware of a gentle hum. When the heat on his hand disappeared the hum stayed and Spock was met with a foreign feeling a hollowness, a emptiness that made his eyes ache with tears.

 

The humming grew and he began to pick up words. As he heard them he began to wonder why he was so deep within his own mind, an urge he had not had before the touch on his hand. Words came to him out of the haze. 

 

“Bones”

 

“Hurt”

 

“Jim”

 

“Spock” 

 

“Wake up”

 

He knew he should answer the call for him to awaken but all he could do was wish for the touch to return to him, to once again give him the will to pull himself from his own mind. However the touch didn’t return leaving Spock to ever so slowly sink back into the darkness his breaths of water slowing gradually. He’d stay here always he decided. If he couldn’t feel that warmth then what was the point of returning to reality. Spock was contemplating how he’d go about this when the touch returned.

This time was different however as the burning heat appeared on his cheek. The intrusion on his person should have made Spock uncomfortable as it should have the last time however he only felt content and more aware than he had been when he’d sank into his mind. Why he could seem to remember. Nor did he particularly care. All that mattered was the hand on his cheek. 

 

Now when he struggled it was with a new force and a new vigor that made his progress quicker and more substantial. When the touch once again fled Spock was floating just a foot below the surface of the water. This close the light penetrated down to him and he felt its subtle warmth on his skin. 

 

Here he was even more aware now able to hear fully conversations around him. Despite this he didn’t want to break the surface, his depleted energy making him wary of waking up just yet. So he lay still and listened. Trying to gauge who those hands belonged too. 

 

*******************

 

If you asked Jim he’d swear on Bones favourite whiskey that he hadn’t meant to fondle the unconscious Professor. He’d innocently been standing watching him while Bones had taken a power nap and had leaned too close causing his hand to press against Spock’s. Their touch caused a tingle in his hand that despite Spock’s lower temperature had warmed his fingers considerably. Instead of being freaked out like most people would be Jim was fascinated by the effect it had had on him. This fascination lead to Jim clutching Spock’s limp hand and relishing in the comfort and safety it brought him. It didn’t cross his mind the oddity of how he was feeling and only the appearance of his best friend from their sleeping quarters that drew him away.

 

When he heard the door open followed by a heavy yawn he dropped Spock’s hand and leapt away red cheeked. McCoy seemed too tired to notice and he ignored Jim as he shuffled towards the coffee machine. Once he brandished a very bitter looking brew, he walked over to Spock and began to poke at him with an unsympathetic air. 

 

“So have you seen the kid since i went to sleep?” McCoy asked as he lifted Spock’s eyelid and peered down at him. 

 

“No he also went to take a power nap,” Jim smiled at the memory of Chekov swaying and rubbing his eyes the picture of adorableness. They’d been looking for any footage of the incident that put Spock in such a state or the means in which Spock had ended up in the dorms. It had been two days since they’d found him and still no evidence as to what happened. 

 

Sulu and Uhura had asked around the whole academy as to Spock’s whereabouts before the attack. It turned out no one had heard from him since his classes on the day of the incident. As a matter of fact, Uhura had been the last person to see the professor before someone decided to take a stab at him. The very thought had made Jim’s blood boil, Uhura’s smug tone had not helped either. If her language skills weren’t the best he would have thanked her for her help and sent her packing. 

 

Bones had helped despite not knowing why Uhura and Jim were so hostile, hell even Jim didn’t know, he’d been a much needed buffer between the two as frustrations rose. The lack of information as to why Spock was injured was a irritating maybe even dangerous puzzle that they were all eager to solve. 

 

That evening Jim stood in front of his motley crew, his hand still tingling faintly as he held it behind his back. 

 

“Why isn’t there any footage?” he put to them, intent on brainstorming a theory. There was silence for a few moments, then a few more until finally: 

 

“Oh I know,” Sulu explained with a triumphant grin, “The attacker hacked into the security files and deleted all the footage,” they all nodded in agreement. 

 

“But why would zhey do zhat Hikaru?” Chekov questioned. They were stumped. 

 

“Perhaps someone was trying to assassinate the hobgoblin” Bones mused looking up when a heavy silence descended on the room. 

A question hung in the air unspoken as if they were hesitant to ask. Jim however was oblivious to the other’s trepidation over the inquiry, probably due to the fact he was pushing away a substantial amount of irritation at the name ‘hobgoblin’, and just plowed straight ahead.

 

“Who would want to kill Spock?” this time the silence held a tang of anger as they had produced more questions than they had answers. Eager the discharge the air Jim offered a solution. “How about we ask Spock when he wakes up? When will that be Bones?”

 

“Well he seems pretty healthy from a physical point of view however he would appear to be in a healing trance. He could wake up now or in three weeks time, it all depends when the space elf wants to get outta his own head.” 

 

“So we wait.” Concluded Chekov.

 

“Yeah, we wait,” confirmed Jim with a finality that gave the group a small comfort even as they left the room minutes later with a promise to reconvene in the morning. 

 

Bones once again left first for bed leaving Jim and Spock alone. He waited a few moments watching the rise and fall of Spock’s chest before he too headed to bed. 

 

The next morning Jim was up first. He sat on the coffee table and watched Spock, an activity he seemed to be conducting with worrying frequency recently. Checking that he could hear muffled snores from the bedroom, Jim gave into impulses he’d been resisting since the afternoon before. With worryingly little hesitation Jim reached his hand up and placed it on Spock’s cheek. He knew it was weird and probably an infringement on Spock’s rights but he felt so at home and at peace simply touching Spock that he didn’t dare remove him palm. Only pulling away minutes later when Bones made sounds in the bedroom that suggested he’d awoken. Once he had he instantly missed the touch. 

 

Half an hour later saw Jim once again standing over their proceedings as they sat in a circle around the living room. A necklace of mismatched chairs that made the room feel crowded and small. Every member apart from Jim and Chekov were nursing a steaming cup of coffee. Jim’s was left forgotten on the side growing colder by the minute while Chekov cheerfully slurped at a strawberry smoothie with a happy awareness that was definitely out of place this early in the morning or at least it was to the others.

 

“Our final plan of action goes as follows,” Jim began the picture of a Captain even in his cadet uniform. “We are all going to class today hence why this meeting is at this ungodly hour,” he continued gesturing to the windows where the sun was still distressingly low in the sky. “I need you to talk to as many people as possible see if anyone saw something. Uhura and Sulu have been doing great but we need to cast out the net a bit wider am i understood,” four nods. “Okay we are all going to take watch over Spock in case he wakes up and is confused,” Uhura snorts incredulously. Jim ignores it. “I’ve taken the liberty of excusing you each from a lesson today so report here to do your watch,” He gave a final nod and gestured for them all to depart. “I’ve messaged you when your watch is as well as your excuse and any appropriate documents you may need,” he gave a wicked grin, winking at Sulu and Chekov’s surprised faces. He ignored McCoy’s unimpressed eyebrow raise and nearly succeeded in ignoring Uhura’s very clear distain that was until…

 

“What’s wrong with you Kirk?!? Are you really going to treat Spock like some sleeping beauty? Why won’t you go to command? Are you really so selfish, so self centered that you would put Spock’s life in danger just so you could piss off the brass? He may not be awake right now to defend himself so I’ll be the one to defend him from your petty games!” She spat out her nostrils flaring and her breath coming fast through gritted teeth. Her pretty face contorted into an ugly sneer that became more pronounced as her rant went on. 

 

She’d stood as she spoke the others all shrinking back, apart from Jim who let her anger wash off him like water. It was strange how many misjudged James Tiberius Kirk, McCoy mused as he observed his friends calm, he’d told him as much once and he’d been met with a laugh. Jim had said over his glass ‘People can misjudge me all they like Bones so long as i stay who i am what does it matter what other people think?’

Now watching it in action gave McCoy a feeling of protectiveness he often felt around the infant who could never seem to keep outta trouble. 

 

“Jim…” he started ready to jump into action if he needed him. Unfortunately he was waved off with a casual hand wave and a smile. Leaving him, Sulu and Chekov to sit as a reluctant audience. 

 

“The reason i haven’t told the brass Uhura,” Jim started slowly. “Is because i don’t know who's behind this and until i find out everyone’s a suspect apart from those inside this room. Do you really think I would risk alerting anyone that Spock’s alive in the hopes the culprit tries again or should i change Spock’s leave of absence notice to murder victim in order to identify if a potential plot is at work,” he spoke in slow measured words, the perfect Captain. 

 

During his speech, Uhura’s cheeks had been getting darker and her head was hanging lower. The others all watched in suppressed awe as the prickly cadet folded under Jim’s careful gaze, before she uncurled with newfound respect that McCoy felt should have been there from the start. A silence shouldered its way into the room before Jim climbed on top of it with a:

 

“Bones, you’ve got first watch. The rest of you to class we have information to fish for,” He pulled on a smile before collecting his bag from his feet and bolted out the door. Sulu and Chekov glanced at each other and McCoy before they too departed, walking shoulder to shoulder as they did so. Uhura was the last to leave. She hadn’t moved from her standing spot in front of her chair. 

 

Unable to contain himself McCoy told her, “He’ll make an amazing Captain one day.” 

 

Without glancing at the good doctor, Uhura bent and gathered her things before she straightened and raised her head to look at Spock. There was heavy pause before she replied.

 

“He already is,” she looked over at McCoy ,who tried to hid his surprised expression at her words and failed miserably, before she turned on her heels and strode out. Leaving Bones to babysit a sleeping hobgoblin. 

 

Damn he needed a drink.

 

********************************

 

Spock had listened to the whole conversation that took place with an air of confusion. Since in his current state he had no access to his memories he instead had to deduce what he could from the correspondence happening around him. 

 

He’d concluded that he’d been attacked and injured in some manner which would explain why he was so deep within his own mind. It did not explain however why he was not in a hospital ward. In fact after further analyses he had decided he was in a dorm room judging by the fact that there appeared to be a child in the room along with Cadet Uhura who he taught in his class and the voice of another cadet who sounded vaguely familiar. He did not recognise the voice that belonged to ‘Bones’ or the other person called ‘Hikaru’. 

 

At first he had been unable to pinpoint who had been the one touching him. As the person had not spoken he had little to go on. Therefore he was glad when the familiar cadet who he’d learned was called Jim Kirk had suggested they take watches to see if he would awaken. This he decided would allow him to evaluate and dismiss different variables and allow him to come to a solid conclusion. ‘Bones’ took first watch. During this time Spock found out that Bones was a doctor judging by the way he prodded and poked at Spock and that due to the ridiculousness of it Spock hypothesised that Bones what not in fact the doctor's name and in fact a nickname. Spock also found out that Bones was not the one who held his hand or caressed his face, his touch was too impersonal and cold as well as the fact he took great joy in coming up with rather creative but very insulting nicknames for Spock.Spock was most relivied when his watch was over and he was replaced by the child who Bones had called the kid wonder. The kid wonder had replied with a respectful slightly shy Doctor MCCoy. Leaving Spock with a name instead of Bones to identify with the gruff southern drawl.

 

The kid wonder ,who introduced himself as Pavel Chekov, talked an awful lot. Spock however found his company fascinating as he marvelled at the young genius mind. It was a mind that would have rivalled his own young teenage intellect had they had the chance to converse. He concluded in mere seconds that the boy hadn’t touched him as he was way to young to elicit such a reaction from Spock and so he spent the rest of his time listening to the boy talk of Russia and his decision of engineering or navigation. It was a pleasant time but Spock was glad when the time ended as he was eager to find the one who had brought him out of his mind. Cadet Chekov was replaced by his student Uhura.

 

A few weeks ago it had come to Spock’s attention that Cadet Uhura held romantic feeling for him, he’d brushed them aside and ignored them in the aim if keeping a professional relationship. Uhura had not taken this well feeling that the way to convince him to engage in a romantic relationship was to ignore his rejection entirely and continue to pursue him. She was a beautiful and intelligent woman but he only felt friendship for her. Their similar personalities creating a kinship that she mistook for love. It was clear to him now that there had been no doubt in his mind that this was not the case. As soon as he heard the door shut behind Cadet Chekov, Uhura was clutching at his hand whispering how she was going to make everything alright. Usually the illogical nature of such statement would have caused Spock irritation however instead he was solely focused on her hand which encircled his. Instead of the tingling warmth he felt nothing but coldness. As she continued to hold on his skin began to crawl, turning in protest of her touch. Finally she let go with a hiss when his hand become so cold that hers had gone numb. It was then that the door hissed open and the voice of Jim Kirk could be heard as he relevied Uhura of her duty.

 

Her voice in reply was sharp and clipped similar to her tone when she’d been shouting at Cadet Kirk. Spock had been oddly uncomfortable about the way she’d spoken to him especially since she was doing it in his name. Unlike then when she was met with calm command now she was faced with laughter and a cheerful dismissal. Spock waited for Kirk to come closer as he prepared to rule out his second to last candidate. He remembered as Kirk began to walk across the room why both his voice and his name were so familiar to Spock. From his voice he recognised the blonde cadet he’d met all those months ago who’d been in the science block late into the night without proper reason. And from his name he identified the cadet as son of the famous war hero George Kirk who’d saved his crew, his wife and his newborn son by sacrificing himself. Surely this couldn’t be the one. It was impossible that this human could make him feel the way he did with a simple touch, Now Kirk stood over him so close, he just needed Kirk to touch him to prove it wasn’t him. He felt a hand hanging just above his forehead, it lowered and suddenly he was being pulled out of the water in a burst of light and colourful sparks.

 

****************************** 

 

He was alive.

 

He was awake.

 

Looking into the most beautiful blue eyes he’d ever seen, he was home. 

 

Jim couldn’t believe it. Spock was awake. He needed to call Bones. He needed to tell the others, But he couldn’t those chocolate eyes held him prisoner. Unfortunately, being held prisoner was something that Jim couldn’t and he went to break away moving as he said:

“Professor, welcome back to the land of the living. Got any idea who wants to off you by any chance?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. The next chapter should be up soon and it'll have a lot more of Spock and Jim actually talking (hopefully)


	5. Next Time Don't Fall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spock plays dumb. Jim is crazy but self aware.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay next chapter thank you for reading this. Sorry it took so long but I've started just started college so everything got a bit chaotic but the chapters up so I hope you enjoy.

"I am unaware as to who attacked me cadet," Spock stated coldly as he sat up from the sofa. He'd managed to shake off the feelings Kirk brought up in him in the seconds pause between the question and his answer. Now he wore the expression of a perfect Vulcan as he gazed across at Kirk who was had sank down to perch on the coffee table. 

"I don't suppose you remember much," Kirk gave a small smile as if trying to coax an answer out of him. 

"Negative, I do not remember anything of the attack or what transpired afterwards," Spock moved forwards and made to get up as he spoke. Hands came up and pulled him back down. He looked pointedly at Kirk who pouted unhappily at Spock.

"You can't go Bones needs to look at you. He'll kill me if you don't," Jim ignored the raised eyebrow and instead focused on how the grumpy Vulcan made no more attempts to get up. He then added helpfully, " Bones is actually my roommate Leonard McCoy. Don't worry he's a doctor in case you were wondering." 

While Spock already knew this from his healing trance but he'd concluded in the mere minutes of his waking that Jim probably would feel it was a breach of privacy. Instead he simply nodded and began a list of inquires that he knew the answer to but had to ask in order to justify his knowledge. 

"What is your name cadet? What am I doing in your dorm room instead of a medical facility? And why are you not in class?" Spock made sure his voice was as cold as possible as to elicit information instead of an excess of human emotion. 

"Okay..." Jim started rubbing the back of his neck and trying very hard not to look into those delicious brown eyes. "Well firstly my name is Cadet James T Kirk," he raised his hand in a slightly clumsy Vulcan salute that made something in Spock curl happily a sensation he beat away very calmly with a stick. "Your in my dorm because I," he coughed blushing slightly, "we didn't know what or who had got you so we figured it would be safe to keep this on the down low." Jim gave a sheepish smile while Spock continued to give him nothing the perfect picture of a brick wall, a hot one Jim could admit but a brick wall none the less. " And finally I'm not in class because I have a case of flu that I gently told the admin computer after I bypassed its firewalls," a pride came over Jim a glow of smugness that was as attractive as it was maddening to Spock. 

"Cadet Kirk it was holely irresponsible to partake in such action you should understand...." Spock spoke rapidly as his rant took root. Jim nodded along making ashamed noises while he began to have an odd feeling. The feeling was that he seemed to much prefer the Professor when he was unconscious and unable to open his mouth, this was probably what Bones felt whenever Jim opened his lips after he'd done something he shouldn't have and ended up in the infirmary. This itch would have been unbearable had it been anyone else but he had the sensation that no matter what Spock did or said he couldn't be properly mad at him, at least not for long. 

Now you must understand that Jim knew it was crazy. Don't listen to Bones he really is a genius honest. He'd met this man once in his life and they'd spoken for mere minutes ,they weren't friends, they were barely even acquaintances and yet he knew Spock in a way he couldn't describe. A feeling he couldn't even begin to describe what it was. The thought or lack of that went into it didn't seem to bother him in the slightest. He was aware of its strangeness but it just felt right. While Kirk pondered this whole thing in his head Spock was continuing to conduct a rather ,even for a Vulcan, long winded rant about success and attendance. As he came to a final "do you understand cadet?" Jim slipped back into the real world with practiced ease. 

"Yeah I got all that Professor," Jim smiled and shifted as though he was going to stand. As he stood his leg buckled from misuse and he tumbled forward into Spock's lap. Now he was sprawled across the Vulcan's legs which where stiffening in apparently distress as the seconds went by. There was a further pause before the red faced cadet jumped up or at least that was his intention but strong arms came around his waist and pulled him back. Now he was cuddled into Spock's lap rather than just being in it. Utter silence followed and Jim didn't move, for one Spock was three times stronger than him and could probably snap him in half but more importantly he didn't want to move. Couldn't seem to move even if he wanted. A force inside of him kept him still kept him in Spock's embrace. 

Spock was a mixer of horror and confusion. He couldn't comprehend why the cadet was in his arms, granted they were his arms and under his command and yet he couldn't remove them. When Jim had fallen he had felt only shock at the tingling heat it produced in his body but it had become desperation, a need to keep Jim close when the cadet had began to move away from him. Now they sat together and Spock was content. Nothing else mattered. 

Jim looked up as he began to feel a soft vibration. Was he? Was Spock purring?! 

Before he could confirm whether Spock was in fact doing an impression of a kitten the sound stopped and he found himself deposited on the floor. Blinking in surprise Jim continued to sit at Spock's feet for a few seconds before he jumped to his feet, anger and embarrassment burning hot on his cheeks. 

"Hey! What was that for Spock!?" He shouted. Kirk was gearing up to give the Vulcan, who was stared coldly away from him towards the door, a piece of his mind. However he was interrupted by the door hissing open. Jim's head snapped to the side and he was surprised to see his best friend come in to the room followed by their bang of merry men. 

McCoy took one look at Jim who was standing over the now awake professor with anger in his eyes and sighed. 

"Dammit Jim he's injured you can't start a fight with him." Bones tutted coming into the room with an air of disapproval that only he could conjure up with such speed and potency. 

"Doctor I can assure you that I am in fact adequate and no longer need your assistance," a smug grin came across Jim's face at the same time as a frown graced the doctor's. Spock went to stand but was stopped by a rather vicious hypo into his neck. Shock ghosted across his face and Jim tried very hard not to giggle. 

"Now listen here you blasted hobgoblin your my patient and I need you to be well so I'm going to make sure your well. You got that, space elf?" Kirk was outright laughing now watching as Spock slowly sank back down onto the sofa, an involuntary hand coming up to his neck. Chekov, Sulu and Uhura watched from the doorway as the little scene played out. The Russian genius was suppressing his laughter as the three continued on their own little world. Sulu joined in with his young friend grinning at the disjointed harmony the three made. This however seemed as long as Uhura could hold back and she came fully into the room with a look of irritation and worry. 

Like a sniper, she seemed to have zeroed in on her target moving with purpose and grace. As she came closer Spock and Jim looked up leaving McCoy working at Spock's side. Uhura nearly faltered at the blank state that Spock gave her but she ploughed through anyway. 

"Greetings Cadet Uhura," Spock sounded like liquid nitrogen and God did it sting. Unable to conjure up anything other than a small sheepish smile Uhura nodded her greeting uttering a quiet Professor before she stepped away not meeting anyone's gaze. The silence was painfully awkward but it was left in the air anyway as no one seemed to know what to say. Spock felt no pity for the young cadet as he held a irrational anger over the way she treated cadet Kirk during his healing trance.

While substantial the anger he felt was some what muted as was everything he felt at this particular moment from sound to emotion. This time however his muted emotions weren't due to his Vulcan teachings, instead he was numb without the warmth of Jim's touch. With Jim in his arms he'd been at peace, in a world so perfect he was unable to break away. Cruelly the outside world had done it for him, his heightened hearing alerting him that McCoy and the other cadets were returning and he knew he had to let go. It was as painful as ripping off a limb but he'd done it, quickly placing Jim on the floor and averting his gaze. He couldn't look into those blue pools, not right now, not when he needed to be strong. 

Now however he wasn't strong he was angry at one of the only beings he called a friend because she'd tried to hurt his Jim. Wait his Jim?! Spock reflected that needed a meditation session and began to long for his quarters as the silence broke and the conversation took up again 

"So hobgoblin remembers nothing that's useful," huffed McCoy who had left Spock's side and was now perked on the small kitchen table in the corner of the room. Chekov looked hurriedly at Spock from his seat on the floor by the coffee table.

"Professor is someone trying to kill you?" His big doe eyes blinked at him quizzically and with a hint of worry. Spock was going to answer that it was unlikely but he was beaten to it by Kirk.

"Yeah someone seems to have their eyes on Spock here," he refrained from glancing at Uhura as he didn't really want to start a fight. "Why else would they go for his side?" The room was silent again as Jim's words sank in. Finally Sulu spoke. 

"What's the plan Jim?" He asked his voice strong and confident. A series of nods following as they all looked to their leader even Spock looked up at Jim with thinly concealed curiosity.

Jim answered with absolute conviction that only a Captain could conjure up. A grin spreading wide across Kirk's face an expressionthat made Spock's heart flutter in his side and left him somewhat  
breathless. The room was utterly still in anticipation.

"We're gonna use Spock as bait." 

Spock raised an eyebrow while the rest of the room groaned.


	6. What's through the key hole?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim pitches. Spock hits it out the park

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been so long. I swear college has it in for me. I hope you enjoy

Bones was crying. Tears pouring down his cheeks as he gasped in obvious pain. He couldn't stop laughing, the image of Spock sitting in the middle of a snare wearing a chicken costume tickling him to the point of hysteria. While Spock's telepathy was all touch based it seemed he had a pretty good idea what McCoy was thinking and proceeded to glare at the doctor with enough venom to sober him slightly.

Chekov was looking between the Vulcan and the red faced doctor with obvious confusion eventually turning his attention to their ring leader to regain control. Jim clocked Chekov's staring and took pity on the young Russian.

"Bones what's so funny?" His voice not encouraging but filled with a sprinkle of authority and just enough exasperation that McCoy knew he'd have to explain whether he wanted to or not.

"I just pictured the damn hobgoblin dressed as a chicken in a snare," there was silence, a long stretched silence. Suddenly it's broken by a loud snort, all eyes following the sound to a show a somewhat surprised communication cadet who was holding a hand over her mouth. There was another short pause and then they were all laughing, bar Spock of course though Jim could see a slight twitch in Spock's lips. It was odd to laugh mid way through such a tense time that to Jim it stuck out at him in the blur of the last few days. Eventually the merriment died down and they were ready to continue.

"So what's the plan?" Sulu spoke up, bringing them full circle back to the issue at hand  
"We bait the culprits by tailing Spock for a few days. Hopefully they'll want to know why there's a healthy Vulcan walking around without any holes in him," Jim pitched at the room avoiding holding anyone's eyes for to long. He glanced around at the group, in Bones' eyes he saw disapproval painted thinly over a large amount of worry. Oddly in both Chekov and Sulu's eyes he saw the same blind trust in his judgement, a trust that made him equal parts terrified and warm inside. Unsurprisingly, Uhura looked unhappy, her anger was there compiling in her beautiful eyes. Even without her spitting words Jim knew instinctively that she felt this was his fault. Deciding, as usual, to ignore her uncalled for animosity he finally turned his gaze to.Spock and faltered. The Vulcan Professor was out of place in their group in his bloodied instructors uniform, standing away from their main circle ram rod straight with his hands behind his back. Something deep and vulnerable in the back of Jim's head wanted Jim to find something in those chocolate eyes. A sign of reassurance that he was alright and that everything would be okay. Instead he got ice, frustrated some of his earlier anger flared rearing its head. All Kirk wanted to do was shout at the Vulcan but he controlled himself with feigned professionalism.

"Any thoughts Professor?" The others seemed a little surprised by his tight tone but Spock didn't even falter. 

"Your suggestion is logical, cadet," Spock inclined his head slightly meeting Kirk's eyes with difficutly. To the outside world Spock was calm and poised but in Spock's mind there was panic. Not in fear of Kirk's plan but instead of its implications, the fact it would put these cadets in danger particularly cadet Kirk. Spock decided to ignore his illogical impulse to refuse instead he agreed with the cadet. Clarifying that they would begin investigating the issue, Spock began setting ground rules much to Kirk's dismay for the simple reason that he didn't like rules. 

"Cadets, must ask that you follow these rules in our investigation. You must not let this affect your studies," Jim snorted but shrank back at the Vulcan death stare he was receiving. "You will not put yourself in danger on my behalf. I do not need guarding. Vulcans are 3 times stronger and faster than humans and we also heal faster, it would be illogical for any of you to put yourselves at risk when it is not needed." Jim, Bones and Uhura all looked ready to protest.

Bones, Jim assumed, because he felt that Spock was still not 100% okay and he still wanted to poke at him. Uhura because of her obvious infatuation with Spock, a factor that left a sour taste in Jim's mouth. And finally Jim himself, he didn't actually know what he was going to protest. The feeling that he needed to keep Spock safe was very clear but the I intentions as to why he felt so strongly beyond the norm about the subject was unclear. The reason was just out of his reach but he could feel it warm with a soft blurred glow. What was it? 

"Are these conditions acceptable?" Spock interrupted any impending protests.

"Zhat is accepzable Professor," Chekov answered for the group, looking so small and young beside Sulu. Spock inclined his head towards the youngest cadet, noting in his head that this was the Russian child prodigy named Chekov. There was a pause in which silence fell. 

"I am retiring to my quaters," Spock stated matter of factly. "I will return here in the morning in order to escort cadet Kirk to breakfast."

"Huh?" Kirk looke confused, he was not alone in it. 

"Since it was your idea to use me as bait you may take the first shift. I have breakfast at 5:30 everyday. This was your idea after all." The teasing in Spock's voice was not lost on Jim and his cheeks were slowly turning a soft pink. Not waiting for Jim to agree Spock turned on his heels and strode gracefully out of the room. There was silence. Jim was so surprised that the Vulcan had any semblance on a sense of humour that he failed to recall there were other people in the room. 

Chekov and Sulu were trying not to laugh as they watched the notorious womanizer James Kirk blush because of a Vulcan Professor. Uhura was by the looks of it practising some ancient breathing method in order to stop violence from breaking out. While McCoy watched his helpless best friend get wooed by a stabbed up walking computer. He was thanking his lucky stars as they all stood there that he didn't have to witness tomorrows breakfast. There wasn't enough money in the world to make.him suffer though a whole morning of this car crash.


	7. Let's Paint Our Door Orange

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim eats cake. Spock does an impression of a cabbage more than once. Bones understands everything and it gives him a headache.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hoping to pop a few more out before Christmas :)

Jim stood in his open door frame watching a pristine looking Vulcan stare at him smugly. It was 10 past 5 in the God damn morning and the formerly comatose Professor still managed to look delicious. To Jim ,who looked like he'd been dragged through a Klingon ship blindfolded, this was painfully unfair a fact he had to share.

"This is cruel. I hate you" He glared up at the older man. The only answer he got was a small twitch of the mouth that he could have sworn was a smirk, before he could call Spock out on it the Vulcan turned abruptly and headed down the corridor. Tired and only slightly annoyed Jim followed at a more sedate pace muttering about stupid attractive aliens and their ridiculously long legs.  
It was 10 minutes later that Jim found himself sitting opposite Spock in a tiny café just outside campus. It was small, quaint and very deserted. Kirk honestly had no idea why it was open this early in the morning as their only patron at this time of day seemed to be the Vulcan he was now watching drink odd smelling tea. When he voiced his inquiry as to why the café was open at this god awful time in the morning. Spock's reply was that it was a traders café in which merchants would drop in at all times of the night to eat their famous cakes. As if called upon by his very suggestion someone came into the café. He wore a bright overalls that was covered in soot and a small alien trailed behind him. Kirk's attention was drawn to the mans thick Scottish accent and he watched the exchange with mild interest.

"You alright there lassie?" his burr was warm and the woman behind the counter gleamed at him. Minutes earlier she'd been impassionate towards them as they ordered their breakfast, clearly not interested in even Kirk's charm. But now she was alive as she collected the cake and giggled at his jokes. The whole flirtatious act was odd to watch as he sat silently with the cold Professor. And when the Scotsmen and his companion left ,not without a curious glance towards Spock and Jim, and the waitress had retreated back to the kitchen, Jim and Spock were left in an awkward silence. To Spock the silence was comfortable and he was content to stay in it as he often dined alone. However he observed that the young cadet like most humans he encountered the only exception being Uhura who he found was very comfortable with their silences. Since the cadet was helping with a private matter he felt that he should perhaps indulge the clearly uncomfortable human.  
"Would you like anything else to eat cadet?" The question was mundane and Spock was disappointed but he could not think of anything to say. A situation he had never been in before and it left him at odds. Fortunately, the simple question made Kirk brighten a sight that took Spock's breath away.

"I'd like a piece of carrot cake," His grin made Spock go a soft mint that in the dim morning was lost on Jim's poorer eyesight. Confused as to why the facial expression of someone he'd only spoken to a hand full of times could bring such a physical and emotional response. With mild panic he got up from their table, his chair scrapping noisily across the porcelain tiles making Jim jump. Spock continued moving choosing to ignore Jim's snort at his ungraceful behaviour. As Spock moved towards the counter to achieve Kirk's request Jim continued to talk across the small empty room.

"So Professor did you see anything unusual on the day of the attack?" Jim was casual, curious in his tone as he regarded the back of Spock's head. Spock carefully hit the bell waiting for the waitress to appear form the back.

"In meditation I looked for anything I would considered unusual however I found nothing wrong except for the fact that I am unable to recall anything something I find very disturbing." Jim pondered this as the waitress entered with the same tired stance he'd seen in her before the other patron had arrived. 

"I would like to purchase a piece of carrot cake and a avocado salad," the waitress nodded her messy blonde hair bobbing around as she moved from the counter to the cake cabinet. Spock stood still watching her as he pushed down his awareness of the cadet behind him. It wasn't so much as a the feel of someone watching him but instead a kind of magnetism and heat that left him dizzy and off balance a fact that was not betrayed by his body. Still he started when a piece of carrot cake was placed in front of him on the counter. The waitress informed him that she would bring him his salad, so he paid her the credits she was due and returned to their table with plate in hand. The gleam in Jim eye was unmistakable in its happiness but Spock had only a second to enjoy it as he passed the plate to Kirk their fingers brushed. There was a gasp from them both though Kirk's was louder while Spock's was more muted. Tingling sparks ran up both of their arms as the plate clattered loudly on to the table, the sharpness of the noise shocking both of the men out of their trance. 

That's how the waitress found them with Jim looking everywhere but at Spock while Spock placed this incident is his bid of things to meditate about, a box that was slowly filling up with Jim related problems. Sensing that her salad was clearly needed the waitress quickly placed it in front of the Vulcan giving them both a big smile despite how tired she was. The blonde cadet smiled back at her his eyes conveying gratitude while the Vulcan remained steadfast in his discomfort. With only the slightest pause she turned away and headed back to the kitchen her head filled with her Scotsmen and the odd Vulcan who'd decided to bring along a friend something she'd never seen him do. She yawned lazily and set about making herself some coffee. 

Jim was at a loss what to say as he had been for most of the morning. It was so awfully awkward. The silence, the eye catching and oh God the fact he'd near made out with the poor Professor after he'd been kind enough to buy him cake. Man he wanted to die. They were sat there with two plates neither one eating in a cafe with no one in it but them and the occasional noises of the kitchen. In an attempt to distract himself he took up.his fork and began eating his cake. All thoughts of Spock and the situation went out of his head. This cake was the best thing he'd ever tasted. 

Spock's head snapped up as Jim let out a guttural moan so sexual that Spock was near instantly hard. Kirk was eating his cake with the kind of enjoyment meant only Spock was sure for the bedroom. His cheeks flushed and his eyes slightly glazed Jim looked up at Spock his grin was the most beautiful the Vulcan had ever seen. 

"I see.why you come here. The cake is," he paused take another bite, shaking his head at a loss for words. Spock smiled inwardly as he pushed his arousal away. 

"Indeed cadet though I don't believe that I have ever thought of having it for breakfast," Jim laughe before he stabbed a chunk of cake raising it towards Spock's mouth. To any Vulcan this was scandalous as only mates shared food but to Spock it was a fact he was willing to ignore in favour of biting the cake piece off the fork. Jim giggled at how Spock's eyes increased in size and how his ears turned a bright emerald. Jim found that he liked the colour an awful lot. And just like their awkwardness was broken. The rest of the morning unfolding in a blur of cske, tea and shared stories of the plains of Vulcan and the farms of Iowa. It was the best time Jim had ever had with any other person who wasn't Bones. They talked for over an hour even as the cafe slowly filled with morning customers. In the middle of Spock's story describing his mother's odd encouragement for him to draw on the walls of their home Bones walked in the door in order to accompany Jim to their first class. This development was lost on both the cadet and Professor who seemed equally engrossed in each others company. The doctor waited a full minute for either to notice but neither acknowledged him in the sligthest. So he placed a hand on Jim's shoulder making the younger man jump. Spock's eyes darted up, black in their threat. His protective energy causing McCoy to draw back slightly. 

"Bones! WIt what time is it? Shit am I late?" Jim began to panic as he checked his Padd for the time. Blinking Spock's eyes returned to their usual chocolate brown as if they'd never changed. McCoy observed that Spock appeared unaware of what just happened, how he'd been so ready to protect Jim. An idea itched at the back of his head making him sigh, he honestly hoped he was wrong. They'd known each other for what two days but who could say what Vulcan mind voodoo could do. Either way he needed to get to class so he hauled Jim up by the collar ignoring both Spock's glares and Jim's protests.

"Hobgoblin Sulu will be here in 5 minutes to escort you to your lesson. Sit tight," Bones announced without turning around. They exited and McCoy let go of his cargo. 

"Bones what was that for?" Jim shouted. 

"Idiot"

"Hey what have I done?" 

"Just you wait infant."


	8. Our Doors Aren't Always Open

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim is still very much kidnapped. Spock makes a new small friend and a slightly bigger one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if this one is a bit confusing I tried to make it clear when your in and out of Spock's head if it's not clear just drop me a comment and I'll try to fix it

Spock sat in meditation later that night reflecting on his day. While this was not the most pressing issue in his mental landscape, he processed his day to begin addressing the near overwhelming back log of thoughts and emotions. And so, he opened the smaller near opaque box in which he had packed away the last day’s events.

After Jim’s sudden departure, Spock was left with an odd sort of loss, an emptiness that both fascinated and repulsed him. How could he feel such emotions for a man, a cadet even, who he’d known properly for mere hours? The rush and strength on these emotions were highly illogical. Perplexed, Spock fell into a light meditation that took his awareness away from the bustling café around him and instead on to his shields.

*******************************  
They seemed intact and functioning but he could feel the sense that there was something missing withering and curling behind him. He didn’t turn but he knew it would hurt to look at the emotions so he tried to stay blind to them, keeping them at his back. It was proving more difficult than he thought. They surged at him with biting ferocity that he gasped and staggered forward. He was filled with rage at the loss of his…his what?

*******************************

“Spock.”

*******************************

He needed to know. Spock was missing Jim that he could identify but he couldn’t understand why he felt such a rage, such a fiery indignation at the idea of Jim being taken from him even if it was the harmless doctor.

*******************************

“Professor Spock, are you okay? do you need a doctor? Wow you’re not blinking that’s weird.”

******************************

Spock was desperate in his search. Delving deeper into his mindscape he near completely lost his touch on the physical world. Something that a right-minded Vulcan wouldn’t dream of doing in the presence of another let alone in a public place.

*******************************

“Oh for…” A large smack was heard throughout the whole café over the general noise causing a shocked silence. Spock blinked quickly focused on the worried face of Cadet Hikaru.

“Thank you, cadet it seems I have lost myself in my thoughts,” To a Vulcan this admission would have been near sacrilege but to a human it was comforting and as predicted his admission of emotional compromise comforted Hikaru somewhat who gave Spock a relived smile. “Though perhaps don’t make habit of hitting superior officers in the future,” Sulu grinned. There was movement behind the cadets back that caught Spock’s attention. Picking up on Spock’s shifted attention Sulu half turned before sighing and stepping sideways. Producing a shy looking cadet from behind him.

“Chekov,” Sulu berated quietly as he motioned towards Spock. Chekov who was wide eyed and blushing with a mixture of shyness and embarrassment sort of started. The young teen gave Spock a perfect salute except for his downcast eyes.

“Professor, good morning,” the cadet’s shyness was apparent to Spock who rarely understood even his own human emotions. It reminded him of how he’d been as a toddler who’d clung to his mother in a way no Vulcan should in public.

“Cadet,” Spock nodded in acknowledgement. In the café around them, the shock of Sulu’s actions had passed but there was still a sedated atmosphere and so Spock took action. He stood and addressed the two cadets. “You Cadet Chekov are studying engineering as a second major?”

“Da Sir, zhat’s right,” Chekov smiled proudly.

“And you Cadet Hikaru have botany as one of your majors?”

“Sir yes Sir,” Sulu gave a mock salute.

“Then shall we take a trip down to the laboratory? I would be amendable to both of your opinions on a number of my experiments,” Both the Cadets lit up at the suggestion, particularly Cadet Chekov who was near bouncing as they made their way across campus.

The morning past with ease and by the time Uhura came to accompany Spock to his first lecture of the day she was shocked to find Chekov nearly in Spock’s lap as they studied a contraption that she couldn’t identify. She was about to interrupt when someone tapped her shoulder.

“Sup, Uhura,” Sulu motioned for her to a corner of the lab where there was a chair with a book of plants laid on it. She joined him and sat when he offered the chair.

“How long have they been doing this?” They looked on as Chekov explained in excited tones, pointing to several different components while Spock nodded slightly in encouragement.

“About half an hour. They got in here after visiting my garden and I lost them to whatever that is,” He drew the book he had from under his arm where he’d stashed it. “Catching up on some reading before my exam tomorrow,” Uhura snorted.

“You’re the best pilot in the fleet and you still start revising the day before? You’re nearly as bad as Kirk,” As if summoned himself, Spock looked up with enquiring eyes.

“Cadet Uhura, good morning,” He shifted away from Chekov and their experiment as if unaware of doing it in the first place.

“Spock, you ready to go to the lecture?” Uhura smiled but as always, she was not rewarded with the slightest twitch.

“Affirmative, Cadet,” Spock turned back towards Chekov and Uhura was cut out again. This wasn’t the uncomfortable feeling she felt whenever Jim and Spock stood within two feet of each other, for God sake Chekov was barely more than a child but it was just another aspect of the man she loved that was shut off to her. And since the man she loved was really a Vulcan there was already so much she couldn’t have from Spock, things she knew he’d never be able to give her. After they’d said good bye to Sulu and Chekov they made their way towards the lecture hall. The silence to Uhura was painful as thoughts swirled around her brain. However, to Spock the silence was comfortable as he considered theories that he had collected over the morning. They arrived at the classroom door with five minutes to class without exchanging a word. Uhura was near burning.

“Spock?” Her tone was almost timid which caught Spock’s attention.

“Yes, Cadet?” He stopped in the door and looked down at Uhura.

“What do you think of James Kirk?” She felt something stirring in her stomach, a kind of dread.

“He is a capable cadet and I am entrusting him in my safety,” Spock stared down at her with guarded eyes that once again made Uhura feel like she’d been locked out again. She sighed at the very idea.

“He is capable, isn’t he?” She knew he hadn’t told her much, it had been a few hours but she felt like she’d lost a battle she hadn’t even known she was truly fighting. She moved past Spock and started walking into the hall. When she looked back, Spock was already preparing for his lecture the picture of efficiency little effected at all by her presence.

***********************************

Spock’s shields were starting to crack again later that night. The weight of his repressed emotions beginning to take its toll on Spock. He needed answers. He needed enlightening. Light. That was it.  
He turned there was a glow coming from deep in his mind. A warmth that he’d been basking in without questioning what it was or where in his mind it was coming from. The feeling was just right, not an alien sensation that warranted alarm but a safety that needed protecting from everything. He began moving, running towards the centre of his mind towards the light. He didn’t want to find out where it was coming from, he needed to know. He need it more than anything.  
But he was getting tired, dizzy, his breath coming out in short gasps. Something was wrong. Terribly wrong. He began to withdraw from his mind quickly passing through as if they were pure water. With a final pull, he was out of his mind and into the fire.

***********************************

There was nothing but smoke. Burning his eyes and nose, he was choking drowning and then there was nothing but sickly, unrelenting darkness.

“SPOCK!!!”


	9. Kick In The Door When I Need You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spock plays a damsel in distress. Bones saves a princess. Jim is sleeping beauty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a beast. I actually think i died halfway thorough this chapter. I have hand cramp but it was worth it. I don't like being mean to Spock but it was needed. I'll be nice to him in the next one I promise.

“Burned Jimmy?” Jim looked up from his Pad.

 

“Bones, you know, I like it crispy,” McCoy turned back to the pan he was slaving over, bacon fat spitting it at him violently. Normally they’d have gone to the mess hall for dinner but McCoy felt he had to make it up to his younger friend for drawing him away from his Vulcan. After their departure Jim had seemed disheartened. Sure, he made conversation but his banter was stale and he had that smile that made Bones want to shake him and hold him close all at once. When he’d left Jim at his lecture, Jim still had that god-awful smile despite it being his favourite subject. So when McCoy had come to pick him up hours later instead of greeting the blonde with a hello he’d said:

“Cooked breakfast?”

Now, as he cooked, Jim was spread out on the sofa studying his Pad. He still wasn’t the animated ray of sunshine he’d been with that pointed eared professor but he was reasonably relaxed. A small actual smile graced his face as he poured over his studies. Bones was content as he flipped the rations. He was considering frying eggs when a knock came at the door. He sighed unhappily before calling towards Jim to answer the damn door. He received no response. Here he was just a poor country doctor did he have to do everything?

Jim was engrossed in his Pad reading up on the inner workings of a warp drive or he would have been at least until a spatula came crashing into his head.

“Bones, what the shit!?!” He looked up to find Bones pointing at him threateningly with a frying pan.

“Door infant.”

“Coulda got it yourself,” He muttered as he got up for the door. The knock came again and he particularly jumped to disengage the lock avoiding a spoon that came flying towards his head. He muttered about stupid doctor roommates and kitchen utensils as the door slid open. Standing in the doorway was an excited Chekov flanked by a pleased looking Sulu and a slightly downtrodden Uhura who seemed to shifted uncomfortably under his gaze. That was something he’d need to ponder over later.

 

“Hey guys come in,” Kirk stepped aside to let his friends in. Sulu practically ran it to the room, the air of a rabid dog about him.

 

“Is that bacon I smell?” Bones was stood with two plates in hand, one foot in the living room and one in the kitchenette. As Sulu approached he backed up until he had his back to the far counter, clutching the steaming plates to his chest.

 

“Keep away you animals if you want some, make it yourself,” McCoy made his way to Jim who was sat beside Chekov, the young Russian was chatting a million miles an hour about his day. After handing Jim his plate he sat down next to Uhura who was perched on top of the coffee table. The sound of sizzling took up as Sulu took the opportunity to cook some bacon. A few minutes later they were all sat around eating happily. It was relaxed and comfortable. Uhura had quickly warmed up, falling into old rhythms as they all acted how they were before Spock. Not to say Spock was a bad influence on the group but his current circumstances meant that they were all on edge. That wasn’t even taking in to account the odd attraction that Spock and Jim had for one another nor the feelings Uhura had on the matter. No right now it was just a bunch of cadets hanging out. It was normal. Or it was until Jim started coughing.

 

It began small. Just a tickle in his throat that caused him to sort of snuffle as they all spoke. Then it became a cough that you’d associated with water going down the wrong way. At this point McCoy’s ears perked up as he knew his idiot friend was allergic to nearly everything under the sun. As he stood to check on his friend the coughing become something violent and heavy. Each breath coming out in whispered gasps between coughs.

 

“Jim…. Jim! What’s wrong?” Bones grabbed his friend by the shoulders trying to pull Jim up from his curled-up position on the sofa. Chekov was rubbing Jim’s back muttering at him in Russian trying to comfort but McCoy could see that the young cadet was scared, his big eyes wide with repressed horror. Sulu rushed into McCoy’s room at McCoy’s command and returned with his doctor’s bag, which Uhura began to rifle through.

 

“Leonard, what do you need?” Her voice was filled with panic as Kirk continued to cough and hack.

 

Bones was a well-trained doctor who was coming apart at the seams. “I don’t know what’s wrong. We need to get him to the med-bay,” McCoy began to shift Jim in order to lift him. He stilled when a sweaty hand came up to grab his shirt.

 

“Bones,” Jim choked out between coughs. “S..po…ck,” Bones stood up straight confused.

 

“What’s the hobgoblin got to do with this?” He was almost angry that Jim would be thinking of someone else when he was so clearly in pain even though he knew that was exactly what Kirk would do. Curse Jim and his stupid martyr complex. Always worrying about everyone but himself.

 

“Spo…ck is in da..n…ger,” The group all looked up from Jim’s shaking form and exchanged glances. A silent communication passed between them.

 

“Kid stay here with the infant if anything happens just grab a hypo and stab him,” Chekov nodded he would before Bones, Uhura and Sulu exited the room and made a quick dash for the instructor’s quarters. Jim waited three seconds after Bones and the gang had left before he was attempting to get up. He felt like he was breathing in clouded water that was slowly weighing him down. He needed to get to Spock. Chekov was clutching at his arm pleading with him.

 

“No Keptin. Jim you can’t. The Doctor said to stay,” He was grabbing at Jim coughs still shaking his chest. Jim shook his head and stopped long enough to pat the young Russian on the head.

 

“I need to see Spock,” Jim began moving again his determination trying to win out against the lack of breath. Chekov was panicked and more than a little scared for his friends life. So he acted fast. Placing his hands in McCoy’s bag he rummaged around till he came up with a sedative hypo. By this point Jim was holding onto the door frame preparing himself to enter the door way. Chekov advanced on his sickly friend with the hypo. He injected it into Jim’s neck as softly as he could just as Jim took his first step out of the door.

 

“Sorry Keptin I had to you’re hurting,” His eyes were filled with unshed tears as he grabbed Jim to hold up his weight.

 

“It’s okay Chekov I’m sorry too…” Jim crumpled onto the carpet as he slipped from Chekov’s grasp. His breath finally calmed as he slipped into unconsciousness. Chekov crouched down and turned Jim on to his back before sitting down next to his sleeping friend. He sniffed wetly as he watched the open door for his friends to arrive.

 

While Jim was attempting to escape his tiny captor, McCoy was running down the corridor. They’d made it to the instructor’s wing in record time and Uhura was now in the lead directing them towards Spock’s quarters. McCoy had nearly made a comment about how she knew where it was but he’d kept it to himself out of self-preservation. It took them a mere two minutes for them to reach Spock’s rooms and it was clear why they were there.

 

The corridor was deserted and quiet. It would have been an inconspicuous passage excepted for all the smoke. It was thick and black spreading quickly across the windowless space. The plumage was coming from the door Uhura identified as Spock’s. McCoy’s stomach dropped, no wonder Jim had been panicked. McCoy punched his medical override code into the keypad, fear curling in the back of his head.

 

The door slide open spilling more smoke into the corridor. There was no alarms going off which made the sound of fire so much louder as the three cadets made their way into the burning room.

 

The smoke was overpowering and at first McCoy was near blinded, but after a couple seconds he adjusted and caught sight of Spock.

 

“SPOCK!!!” he received no response no movement. Uhura pushed past him and went towards the Vulcan.

 

Spock was lain out on the floor his breathing near none existent. While the flames hadn’t reached him yet they were just starting to lick at the straw mat he was sat on, McCoy dived at Spock, lifting him just as the flames began to eat at the mat. Uhura helped McCoy lift Spock while Sulu fiddled with the environment controls. They’d just dragged Spock to the door when Sulu gave a triumphant shout followed by a ton of coughing. Sulu exited the room as the sprinklers came on in Spock’s room. They all sighed in relief as they stood with Spock held up between them watching the fire spit and go out. Finally, it was quiet and wet enough for Sulu to duck in and open all of the windows in Spock’s room as well as the vents. It was a quick fix but they had bigger things to worry about so they then shut the door and locked the room to anyone but themselves. It was just as they were beginning to ready themselves to carry Spock back to Jim and Leonard’s dorm when Sulu had a ‘brilliant’ idea. To McCoy it was terrible idea but Spock was heavy and he wanted to make sure Jim was okay so he agreed. And so Sulu quickly wrote down on a piece of paper the following:

 

‘Sorry about the smoke was attempting to make Vulcan food and it caught fire. All is well now however there is definitely no lasting damage to myself or my property.

 

Spock’

 

The three then began to carry Spock back to the dorm room. Their progress was slow and they had the constant fear of someone discovering them of their botch job at hiding the fire. Luckily it was mid-evening and most instructors and cadets were either out or in the mess hall leaving the corridors of the dorms deserted. It was little comfort.

 

“What do you think started the fire?” Sulu broke the silence as he shifted Spock higher onto his shoulder.

 

“I don’t think it was accident that’s for sure,” McCoy sniffed as he also hoisted up Spock. “Someone definitely trying to make a Vulcan BBQ,” Uhura tutted at McCoy but he ignored her. Spock was heavy and he was worrying about Jim so he had no time to be upset. They continued for a few more moments. This time it was 

 

“Why were the sprinklers turned off?” Uhura queried as they turned the last corner onto their corridor.

 

“It was probably hacked like the cameras. Speaking of which I doubt there’ll be any footage of who did this either. Those bastards are thorough as sh…… Oh what in the name of?!? Kid what happened?” McCoy had nearly dropped Spock when he found a tear eyed Chekov sat next to a very unconscious Jim.

 

“I’m s..s.orry Doczor he was….”

 

“Little shit tried to escape, didn’t he?” Chekov nodded vigorously unshed tears sparkling.

 

“Da zat’s right,” McCoy gave a long-suffering sigh. He then nodded to Sulu. They maneuvered Spock through the dorm until they dropped him down on Jim’s bed. McCoy and Sulu then returned to the main living area to lift and move Jim. But when they reached the room they discovered that Chekov was bawling into Uhura’s arms. Bones knew the kid was a genius but he was still just a kid. Stepping over Jim’s sleeping form he took the small Russian into his arms and patted his head.

 

“You did good kid,” He passed Chekov onto Sulu who gave him a hug as well. They left Chekov and Uhura curled up on the sofa watching a film. McCoy and Sulu then lifted Jim and took him to Jim’s bedroom.

 

The two idiots were laid out on Jim’s bed waiting for McCoy’s examination. It was probably the stillest he’d ever seen Jim and that made him uncomfortable despite knowing Jim was simply sedated. McCoy sometimes worried late at night of Jim in a gold shirt laying bleeding, dying on alien soil out of McCoy’s reach. When he saw Jim moving around unstoppable the nightmares washed away but sometimes, in times like this McCoy was scared for his friend. When he finished examining the two he re-entered the living room.

 

Chekov was curled up between Sulu and Uhura who were watching an old movie on Sulu’s Pad. From the sounds of it, it was a pirate film. Good old Sulu. Uhura looked up with worried eyes.

 

“How are they?” Her question caught the attention of Sulu and Chekov who looked up for his verdict.

 

“They’re both fine,” his voice was soft enough that he could hear Sulu’s quiet intake of breath as they all seemed to relax into the sofa in relief. It was as if a weight was removed from the room.

 

“Leonard, are you coming to sit-down?” Uhura motioned to the space beside her. He considered it for a pause before shaking his head.

 

“I think I’ll just give them one last check,” He turned and re-entered Jim’s bedroom and nearly burst out laughing. On Jim’s bed Spock was very definitely curled protectively around Jim. They were both clearly still completely clocked out but they seemed almost more peaceful in each others arms. Oddly watching Jim being so cared for by Spock even in their sleep left McCoy at ease. The pictures of Jim laying in gold and red were replaced by images of him sat proud in a captain’s chair beside him a blue clade first officer. It was beautiful. He chuckled quietly backing out of the room and shutting the door quietly.

 

“Wanna pick the next film Leo?” Sulu offered him the Pad as he sat down. Just as they settled down to watch a western wonder to himself maybe the Vulcan wasn’t that bad after all.


	10. I Think We Got Our Doors Mixed Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim rolls around in bed. Spock rolls around in his head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long. I hope its not too confusing since I kinda jump in and out of Spock and Jim. Thank you for reading this far

Jim awoke with an overwhelming feeling of comfort and safety, a set of emotions that slowly pulled him out of slumber. He opened his eyes to find himself staring at his ceiling. His sleep addled brain began to ponder slowly how he'd managed to get into his bed. It shifted through memories like mixed up pages trying to find the right order. Frustrated he rubbed his eyes, groaning and shifting as he pulled the duvet up to his chin. The bed creaked slightly. A groan came from beside him. Jim froze. Slowly, with the hesitant air of someone pulling away a plaster, he turned towards the sound and nearly screamed. A ruffled, bleary eyed Vulcan stared back at him. He honestly didn't know what surprised him more, the fact that Spock was in his bed or that the respectable Professor was not a morning person. He decided to tackle one thing at a time.

"Morning Spock," he rolled himself on side so he was facing Spock. Trying to sound like this was a totally normal thing to have a professor whose life was being threatened in his bed. He needed to sound like he wasn’t freaking out.

"Good morning my Jim," Now he was freaking out. What had Spock called him just then? Why was Spock in his bed? Why was he in his bed? As Jim questioned everything (including his life choices) Spock’s eyes drifted closed as he fell softly into sleeps warm embrace. Everything was well with the world.

Everything was not well with the world. Jim was having a melt down on the inside. Alarms where blaring, people were screaming and mentally Jim was panicking. He wanted to roll out of bed to knock himself out on the foot fall to the ground. Why did the universe hate him enough to put him in these situations? He felt bad for the clearly asleep Vulcan and decided not to have a full on freak out just yet. At least not out loud.

"Spock," the sleepy Vulcan opened his eyes and blinked at him slowly. His eyes quickly blinked shut again leaving Jim once again alone. James Tiberius Kirk did not give up and he would wake up this damn sleeply Vulcan because dammit he needed answers. But first he needed to work out how he got into his own bed. God, he hoped that he hadn't slept with Spock, as much as the idea appealed to him, he was certain that Uhura would wear his balls as earrings for touching her famed Professor. Ignoring the mental picture that idea conjured up he looked down at Spock. Jim tried very hard to ignore how cute Spock looked (rather unsuccessfully) as he attempted to piece together the night before.

*****************************

Spock was content. He lay on his back surrounded by red sand looking up at the blue skies of earth. The desert to his left was endless, stretching further than he could see. However, the desert on his right stopped about thirty meters from where he lay, dropping off into nothing. Oddly the abyss didn’t scare him, rather it drew him towards it. He stood, dusting off the scarlet sand. Turning towards the drop off he caught sight of what he was looking for, what he’d always been looking for. There suspended in the air was a burning candle. Sun-like in its brightness it hung suspended a few meters over the edge bobbing up and down with invisible winds. Transfixed, he took a step towards it. A need to touch it sat in his stomach pulling him with an intensity that left him almost pained and gasping. He took another step and another until he was running. He ran until there was nothing left under his feet only the abyss around him. He turned from the candle only to find that the desert was gone leaving him completely alone in the darkness. Somehow, he wasn’t afraid. 

The realisation that this was space left him breathless almost, giddy. Chuckling, he was glad to find that he could in fact breath. Though he mused as he began to slowly float towards his goal, it seemed illogical for him to suffocate in his own head.

In the time, it took him to get to the candle he took the time to briefly wonder how he’d got inside his own head. It turned out he remembered little if how he got into his head and even less of where he was now. While these questions pulled him slightly from his calm and tranquil state he didn’t feel the need to escape his mind just yet.

Undisturbed by how odd that was he finally came upon his destination. It stood 2 meters high including the flame and gave off a heat that was comforting rather than overwhelming. Spock reached forward and placed his hand on the smooth cream wax of the candle. Suddenly all fell away from him and he was pulled down from the candle in to the darkness. He felt something akin to fear as he plummeted down into the nothing. He continued his descent for several minutes until he slowed to a stop. Surprised that he wasn’t dead he looked around himself quickly but found himself surrounded by darkness still. Then came the light from above, he looked up and saw that the candle was casting light down onto him from hundreds of meters above. The light grew in brightness and began to fully penetrate the darkness.

Spock wasn’t in fact floating anymore but instead standing on a beat, dusty road that stretched out in both directions. On either side of the road, the light revealed was sea that licked at the sides of the road. Spock was perplexed as he’d never been to such a place before. He sat down on the warm dusty road and waited. Waited for something to happen.

He didn’t have to wait long. He’d hypothesized about what the candle meant as he sat and after a moment he concluded; it was his bonding symbol. Odd that he knew what it was from the fragmented information his parents had given him and yet he was so certain. While theirs was an oak tree, firm and steady. His it seemed was not yet fully formed bond, which considering he had little recollection of forming one seemed appropriate. Even so it was beautiful. He lay out, basking in the light of his bond. Completely at ease it in it’s light. It was glorious. 

Sometime later, a thought came to him on the wind. Who was his mate? In his awe of the bond he’d given little thought who was on the other side. As if in response to his thoughts a voice took up on the breeze. Coming in with each wave. He looked all around for the source but he was completely alone on the stretching road. Above the quiet lull of the lapping sea came a voice that spoke words to slow to understand. He needed to wake up. He had to wake up. Spock, wake up.

********************

“Morning Spock,” Spock blinked open his eyes and took in his mate. There was still confusion in the blanketing of his mind but the anticipation of the moment briefly overtook exhaustion as he waited to fully behold his mate. Their back was turned but he took in the short blonde hair, the strong yet narrow shoulders and the slim waist that he wanted desperately to take a hold of. Despite his need to fall into sleep again he hung on as his mate turned around. He was filled with happiness that he could not explain. Of course. There was no one else. There only ever was his James.

“Good morning my Jim,” Jim’s name sounded different as he spoke it almost drug like as it rolled off his tongue. Jim blinked at him owlishly surprised by his term of endearment. Why, Spock couldn’t understand in his sleep dulled mind. It was something his father whispered to his mother when no one was looking. Was this not what mate do? he thought dully as drowsiness took a hold of him once more. His eyes began to close, sleep pulling him back under again. Jim began to speak just as he lost consciousness once more, a smile on his face. His Jim.

*******************

Jim still remembered absolutely nothing of the day before, let alone the night. Straining he attempted to grasp something anything that might tell him why Spock was in his bed. Finally, after much mental work he came across a trail of memory. It was. It was...bacon. He nearly buried his head in Spock’s chest in despair. But bacon seems to have opened the door to his memories. Or at least cracked it open. It came in waves but he began to remember something. He had an impression of pain and of knowing Spock was in danger. He was glad to see that Spock was safe. He’d been so sure that Spock was going to die. He had a vague picture of Chekov, crying as he attempted to find Spock. Shit he’d scared the kid. He had no idea what time it was but he needed to get up and apologise.

Jim shifted and began to get out of bed, wincing as his bed groaned. Spock moaned a protest making Jim freeze. He turned slowly, one leg already hanging off the bed, and found chocolate eyes once again staring up at him. This time however the Vulcan seemed alert and completely awake, he even sat up as Kirk pulled his leg back into the bed. Somewhere in the back of his head Jim mourned for the cute Spock that wasn’t all there when he woke up. This Spock was the put together Spock he’d come to lov...tolerate. How had he managed to make his fringe perfect in his sleep? How did he manage to be so perfect? Stupid Vulcans.

“Hi,” Jim smiled awkwardly dying a little inside about the whole situation.

Spock of course seemed unaffected by the embarrassment of it all, “Hello Jim, it seems we need to talk.” Jim nodded reluctantly hoping the duvet would just eat him. “Jim,” Spock paused as if he was pained to speak “I have something to tell you and you must try to keep calm,” Jim sent a moment amazed at the fact Spock had been asleep a minute before. 

“Okay but first how did you get into my bed?” Jim couldn’t help himself he had to know even though Spock was safe. Perhaps he was curious to know what happened but if he examined his feelings closely he knew it had more to do with worry for Spock.

“It appears someone set my quarters on fire,” Jim gasped horrified but Spock continued ignoring his exclamation. “I was meditating at the time and only realised my room was burning as the oxygen became dangerously low resulting in my loss of consciousness,” Spock pulled his legs under himself until his was cross-legged and looked straight at Jim. “I hypothesis that you and Doctor McCoy had a hand in my rescue,” Jim shrugged.

“I didn’t actually,” He paused embarrassed. “You see we were all hanging out when I had this pain in my chest. This probably sounds stupid but for some reason I knew you were in danger and I tried to come to you but the pain…Chekov.” He stopped upset. Spock moved a little closer.

“I understand Jim I do not begrudge you for not coming to my aid as you can see I am fine,” Spock seemed almost happy at the fact he was worried about him, weird bastard.

“So you don’t remember how the fire starting?”

“No I was deep enough in my mindscape that I was unaware of the danger I was in until it was too late for escape.”

“Huh that sucks.”

“Indeed.”

“You had you wanna ask me?” Somehow Spock seemed to get blanker almost marble like.

“Yes Jim I do,” Despite his stony expression his voice gave away the slightest hint of tribulation. Kirk looked at him expectantly.

“Go on.”

Spock let out a little breath that Jim assumed was a sigh, “In ancient times, the Vulcan species was a collection of warrior clans that fought constantly, this was in time before Surak. Vulcans were a passionate species by nature before his teaching and while we have all but forgotten what it is like without logic however there is some aspect that remains as a legend. One of these is the legend of Thy’la in which two warrior minds were so compatible that their mere proximity formed a rudimentary bond that solidified with continued contact,” he paused without looking up but was rewarded with nothing but silence so he continued. “This bond meant brother, lover, friend. A bond so sacred, so rare that it has since become nothing more than a legend told to Vulcan children.” Spock didn’t look up at Jim, as the blonde sat there confused.

“What’re you trying to tell me Spock?” Jim laughed a little in discomfort, sensing that he wouldn’t like the answer considering Spock’s near perfect impression of a marble statue that could talk.

Spock looked up at him finally with pleading brown eyes as though he was imploring Jim to understand something. “It appears Jim that we have formed this kind of bond completely by accident in our first meeting.” It was over, he’d said it. Spock didn’t feel relieved though, he felt almost sick with worry and fear. Jim was completely still barely breathing. Looking at Spock with unfocused eyes. He knew that he had to tell him, it would be agony otherwise but this, this was an agony in itself.

Jim was blindsided. He’d known this man for what felt like hours. Heck they barely knew each other. How could they have…How could they be…And what were they exactly, mind married? It seemed like a stupid question but he felt like he knew the answer. So was what he felt for Spock all in his head? Some product of Vulcan mind voodoo manipulating them? Making Spock look at him with those concerned filled eyes. This was too much he couldn’t look at Spock not now. Not when he looked so broken because of his silence because of him.

Jim scrambled back tipping over the side of the bed and hitting the floor hard. He was breathing heavily and the room span as Spock stuck his head over the side.

“Jim, are you alright?” His voice alone made Jim want to cave in but he couldn’t not now not like this. He shifted backwards and laid out on his floor and took a big breath.

“BOOONNEEESSSS!!!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for a bit of a cliff hanger. We'll get back in to the danger in the next chapter I swear


	11. I Can't Give You My Key

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spock plays a sad puppy. Jim has unhealthy copping mechanisms. McCoy just worries (as always)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I sorry this one took a while. I've started writing a one shot for a friend which coincided with a shit load of college essays so it's a bit slow of the blocks but it is pretty long so I hope that helps

Leonard McCoy was sleeping peacefully in his bed. Dreaming of his baby girl Joanna dancing across a stage in front of hundreds of adoring fans. Her pink tutu bouncing happily as she danced. It was a wish the southern princess had told him about in their last video chat. He’d laughed at her gleeful face recalling that in their last chatted she’d wanted to be a starship captain after her uncle Jim. To put it bluntly McCoy was having a good sleep, something he didn’t often get when he was on call. He smiled mentally as Joanna twirled across the stage the audience around him standing in applause.

"JOANNA JOANNA," prideful tears filled his eye as he sat into the theatre, watching his baby girl become a star. "JOANNA JOANNA JONNES JONES BONES!!!!," Wait a second. He turned around to see everyone in the audience around him was Jim. How had his dream become a nightmare so quickly? He sat in annoyed resignation just before he woke up to his bedroom ceiling. Dammit life sucked.

McCoy regained consciousness in time to hear the tail end of Jim's shout. He was up and out of bed in seconds, pulling on a robe and grabbing his tricorder as he bolted for the door. He burst into Jim's room, hypos at the ready, expecting to find at least one near dying idiot. Instead he found two very much alive idiots who seemed to be in no distress whatsoever, apart from a functioning Jim who seemed to have fallen out if bed. Clearly Joanna wasn't the only child he had.

"What in the name of God's green earth are you too shouting about?"

"In fact doctor it was only Jim who was..." McCoy silenced Spock with a look, apparently even Vulcan's didn't have death wishes.

“Since he’s awake now maybe you should give Spock a check over,” McCoy looked down at his friend whose voice sounded strained and odd. Confused he looked back at Spock but there was nothing in his expression. McCoy was just plain weirded out. The awkward (at least to the two humans in the room) silence stretched out, lethargic and cat like. Jim suddenly jumped up and moved to leave the room, muttering something about coffee. Spock was still but, McCoy noted silently, no longer expressionless. As Jim left the room, Spock looked nothing less than devastated. For once, as he stepped forward to examine the Vulcan, he couldn’t think of a single snide remark.

When McCoy left Jim’s room, flanked by a healthy Vulcan, there was no sign of Jim. A lone mug steaming silently on the counter was the only indication he’d been there at all. McCoy sighed trying not to think about the fact his best friend was roaming the academy in his pyjamas somewhere. Part of him wanted to inquire as to what happened but he kept picturing Spock’s face, how simply broken he’d looked, and he couldn’t do it.

“Would you like some breakfast Spock?” He stepped over to the kitchenette, ignoring the mug as he did.

“Negative Doctor, I would like to return to my quarters in order to assess the damage caused by the fire,” Spock sounded crisp and calm.

 

“Do you want me to come with you?” McCoy turned in order to show his sincerity but Spock was already moving towards the door.

“That is unnecessary doctor,” He sounded like a textbook Vulcan but McCoy could see that his hands were curled into fists behind his back. He resisted the urge to snort, unfeeling my ass. McCoy had just finished pouring himself a coffee strong enough to make a Klingon cry when the door opened and shut, spitting the clearly distressed Vulcan into the corridor.

Nursing his mug like it was JoJo herself he wandred back into his room so he could get dressed. He needed to wear actual pants if he wanted to track down his idiot of a best friend.

“What have you gotten yourself into this time Jimmy?”

******************

Jim had been walking for 30 minutes. After he’d left the dorm he’d wondered through the academy campus and had found himself wandering through the streets of San Francisco. The hum of the city enveloping Jim and drowning out his turbulent thoughts. No one seemed to notice his stripped pyjamas in the hustle of the morning light.

How had this happened? He was fine and dandy before Spock decided to get stabbed up. Now he was Vulcan mind married to an instructor he barely knew. Yes, he was attracted to Spock, painfully so. But this, this was different. It was commitment and letting someone else into his head, he couldn’t do that, fuck, he could barely stand it in there. He wouldn’t do that to Spock. Spock was way out of his league. A genuinely nice person, someone that Jim just didn’t deserve. So, he walked the streets avoiding everything, including himself. 

It wasn’t till hours later he returned to the academy and even then, he had no intention of staying. He’d concluded a while ago that Spock had blocked whatever it was between them near completely due to the sensation that he was missing something that should be there in his head with him. If he looked for it too hard though his head began to ache, so he just stopped looking.

He found his shared dorm empty, which was odd for a Saturday but he let it pass walking silently into his room to shower and change. Twenty minutes later he emerged damp and clad in his classic denim jacket and jeans to a still empty room. Jim didn’t even attempt to quell his sigh of relief. Jim deliberated for a few seconds whether to leave Bones a note about his plans but quickly threw the idea aside to make room for more pressing issues like which bar was he going to start in.

*******************

Spock spent the day in his head, something he found himself doing often recently. It took meditation to keep such a new link stable under the pressure of his shields. Pain was a continuous companion as he continued to strain for several hours. The pain was inconsequential and paled in comparison to the ache he felt at Jim rejection. It was like a hand had dug it’s claws into his heart, making his side cramp and pull.

Earlier that morning after he’d left McCoy and returned to his room, he’d received a comm from the good doctor which read as follows:

 

Hobgoblin,

Meet you at your place 1700 hours

Good? Good.

See you then

McCoy

 

And he was determined to uphold Jim’s privacy until the arrival of the blonde’s surly best friend and confidant. However, the mental strain of it all was slowly getting to him despite his Vulcan resolve. The impending damage the rejection was going to have on him made him give up the effort entirely.

Spock stood up from his replacement meditation mat (it had been hidden behind his wardrobe and was therefore undamaged) and made his way to his bed. His whole room had been decorated in the night. He’d been informed in a comm message from Nyota that she and Sulu had gone to Captain Pike and made up an excuse about a botched experiment that had some sensitive information which was all that was needed to trigger a sweep under the rug (literally).

His room smelled of stale smoke and fresh paint, nothing like home. The new rug caressed his toes as he sank down on to the bed. Drawing his legs up and rolling on to his side, Spock fell quickly into a dreamless visionless sleep.

**************************

Jim's third choice of a bar had to be the worst. His standards had slowly been decreasing as the alcohol in his blood increased. A neon sign blinked ‘Molly’s Bar’ at him happily as he approached the building. It was squat and grubby, swaying sickly in the midnight breeze. Loud music and laughter bubbled out of the seams of the door drawing Jim in.

Inside was even underwhelming with dark walls and rickety tables filled with lots of drunk men. The lack of women didn’t bother Jim in the slightest. The bar however was his top concern. He stepped up to an empty stool and made himself comfortable raising a hand her waved the bartender over.

"What can I get ya darling?" Her southern accent washed over him as he took her in. She was pretty enough. Plastering on his signature smile he purred.

"Surpirse me," she giggled and slanted off to pour him something. Alone in the crowded place Jim found himself sober enough to still remember why he was drinking. Clearly he hadn't drunk nearly enough. Just as he started to get itchy the pretty bar tender returned with a glass of blue liquid and a napkin. Handing over both she smiled as he read her number.

"I finish at 3 come find me then," she winked before turning away to serve someone else. Jim continued to sit at the bar nursing his drink. He didn't know what the ocean colored substance was and he found that he didn't really care. Bones would be worried by now, it was coming up to midnight and he still hadn't made any contact. If he was honest, he knew Bones had probably been out all this time looking for him but he wasn't honest and instead chose to pretend that he was still a kid.

No one cared about him then. No one wanted him. When people actual want you, they expect things from you. Things that you can't give. He took a sip of his drink and pretended that everything was okay.

"Hey there."

Jim looked up slowly blinking at the voice's owner. It was a man. Tall, good looking and with curly brown hair, perfect for Jim. He pulled back on his smile painting it on thick.

"Hey to you too," his voice seemed to catch at the end, drawn out in a slight slur.

"I saw you across the bar and I was wondering-"

"Yes! Now? Do you have a car? Perfect let’s go," Jim grabbed the man's arm and began to march out of the bar. Outside it was cold and quiet, a sort of calm that was at odds the near frantic mood Jim was in. Jim knew that he was being reckless, picking up strangers like this, but he needed a distraction and sex seemed like a good one.

The stranger hooked arms with him and they strolled arm in arm through the night. The man led him around the bar and into a small alley between the bar and another building that led down to the car park. Jim was silent, bouncing in repressed excitement at the thought of what was to come. But as they rounded the corner and enter the mouth of the small alley Jim began to feel uneasy. His skin prickled and his heart began to race. The oddness of it all made him pause. The stranger looked at him questioningly.

“Hey are you alright?” the smoothness of his voice seeming to smooth some of Jim’s nerves and he began moving again shaking his head as he did.

“So how are we gonna do this?” as they exited the alley and come out into the pitch-black car park.

“Quickly and quietly,” Jim snorted and turned towards the voice to deliver his retort but found a hand coming towards his face. In the split second, he realized what was happening Jim had only one thought,

‘SPOCK!’

***********************

Spock awoke with a gasp. How long had he slept? He lay there blinking confused. What had woken him?

Spock sat up and slipped out of bed. His PADD blinked at him in the darkness lazily informing him that he had received a message. It was once again Doctor McCoy who’d typed rather smugly:

 

Hey Pointy

I came round to meet you but you didn’t answer

I used my medical override and found you sleeping like a baby

Hope you don’t mind

I’m gonna continue looking for the infant

I’ll have probably found him by the time you read this

Night Spock

(PS you look adorable when your asleep)

 

Spock felt slightly itchy at the breach of privacy but he wasn’t particularly concerned by Doctor McCoy’s actions. As he called for the computer to raise the lights he attempted to identify what had woken him from his slumber. If he had achieved the optimum amount of sleep he would have woke up slowly and contently instead of being forcefully pulled out. He looked to his PADD still clutched in his hands and saw that it was just after midnight and Jim would be likely asleep.

Gingerly he peeled away the shields he’d hastily erected between their two minds, sighing in relief as each one come away. Finally, his minds was left open to Jim’s. But he did not find what he wanted to find there was no dreams or flickers of thought as his T’hy’la slumbered. Instead he was met with silence, a repressive quiet that seemed to be edged with intoxication and something that had rendered Jim unconscious. A drug, Spock realized with sickening clarity. Someone had drugged Jim and he was currently somewhere unconscious.

It was illogical to panic as his brain attempted to comprehend the possibilities. Perhaps Jim was a danger to himself and his trusty friend McCoy had hyped him with the intention of sedation. It seemed likely but Spock could not help himself as he shifted across his room to retrieve his communicator. He waited for a few seconds before a gruff voice came.

“What is it hobgoblin?” He had clearly woken the good doctor up.

“Did you succeed in finding Jim?” Spock kept his voice even but inside he was shaking with hope and fear. He didn’t even acknowledge that he hadn’t said Cadet Kirk.

“I couldn’t find him but it’s okay. Kids gonna go drink alcohol like water before stumbles in tomorrow bitching about a hangover,” If Spock was any less Vulcan he probably would have begun to cry or shout instead he remained silent. McCoy cleared his throat impatiently urging the Vulcan on.

“I believe that Jim has been drugged and is currently unconscious,” Spock had expected lots of questions, questions he wasn’t sure he could answer instead he got a very angry and loyal Doctor was ready for battle.

“Good God man why didn’t you say?” The sound of shuffling bed covers took up before he spoke again this time with a tone that Spock had never heard from grumpy doctor.

“Meet me in front of the dorms in ten minutes,” McCoy sounded like he was going to war and an odd part of Spock softened as he considered the man. The line went dead and Spock was left in his quarters staring at the communicator in his hand. It creaked and protested at his tight grip but he couldn’t let go. He stood there for a few seconds before he sprang into action.

Five minutes later he was standing in front of the dormitory ready to go and find his mate.

‘Please be safe Jim’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're gonna have a dose of the boy wonder next. I've missed writing about him so I think we're gonna have a bit of a bonding chapter. It's friendship feels time


	12. I'm Behind This Door

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim makes a friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry this took so long. I'm trying to write this and a one shot on top of college work so the update wasn't as early as I thought it would be. I know I promised so team binding and some Chekov but I needed to introduce this character. But he is coming don't worry :)

Consciousness came quickly to Jim. Despite the drugs, he was sure were in his system, he was able to open his eyes and assess his location. In his drug addled mind he’d expected a dark dungeon with dripping walls and barred windows. He reflected, as he laid looking up at the cream ceiling, that expectations were considerably untested since he’d never been kidnapped before.

The kidnapping booklet clearly hadn’t arrived at his dorm but he reasonably sure that laying on what appeared to be a comfy sofa was not what he expected. Turning slightly to the side he noted that his made up bed was a lovely teal colour that worked wonderfully with the cream carpet he could just about glimpse without getting up. Man, drugs made him weird. Sitting up with a groan he surveyed his surroundings with mildly blurred eyes.

There were four cream sofas, including the one he’d unknowingly made his home, that shaped a square in the centre of the room. In the middle of the sofas was a small circular coffee table with an odd-looking statue. Jim stared at it for a while before it clicked in his head that the curved, chrome sides formed the shape of a praying woman looking to the sky in rapture. For some reason the statue made him shudder and he turned away. Pushing himself into a sitting position Jim surveyed his surroundings with tired eyes. 

Whoever had taken him either worked for someone with money or was pretty rich. He whistled softly at the décor, the subtle luxury in the very atmosphere of the apartment. Ceiling to floor windows showed off a twilight draped Sans Francisco that was lazily descending into night. To his right there was a cream painted wall with a dark wooded door that was flanked by two larger praying statues.

Shuddering Jim stood up on unsteady legs and made his way over to windows. From his squinting into the dying light he could make out the silver shapes and greens of the Academy. It was clear that he was high up, probably in the pent house. Looking out at the bustling city, for the first time since he’d woken up Jim thought of Spock. Closing his eyes, he focused internally looking for the feeling he felt when he was with Spock.

He prodded at where that feeling normally sat but all that he got was static. A stinging and painful sensation completely different from the loss and numbness he’d felt when he was getting drunk. This was different, as though something was interfering. A headache began to form so he opened his eyes and turned away from the city.

Jim’s mind began to race with possibilities and half formed thoughts. It wasn’t hard to guess why he’d been kidnapped. He hadn’t slept with any mob bosses or their wives nor had he started any fights (that he remembered anyway). But a Vulcan professor had been stabbed and had dragged himself to Jim’s doorstep which probably warranted a follow up by the culprits. This was clearly Spock related. 

Sighing he spun away from the widow and looked back into the room, his abused leather jacket creaking in indignation. Pacing back over to the sofa he starred at it for moment contemplating whether he should pretend to be unconscious again, thinking better of it he circled around the sofas and went towards the door. With little hope, he tried the door knob a few times just to be sure. He of course found it locked. Out of a mix of frustration and spite he kicked out at the door losing his balance when his foot connected with nothing. Swaying for a second, he fell back with a squeak landing solidly on his ass.

Groaning he looked up at the culprit who’d opened the door, expecting the man he’d met in the bar. Hell, he’d expected a Klingon over who was standing in front of him holding a tray of soup and bread. He blinked owlishly at the figure trying to comprehend why a Vulcan child was blinking back at him. Despite never actually seeing a Vulcan child he assumed from the green blush of her slightly chubby cheeks and the pointed ears poking out of her shoulder length black hair. Judging by her size she looked about 7 or 8 no older than JoJo. Even though she was clearly involved in whatever this was something in him softened at the thought of his favourite Southern belle.  
Unwilling to rise to his feet and tower over the little girl he leaned back and made himself somewhat comfortable on the plush cream carpet.

“Hi there,” Jim employed his sweetest smile but the girl didn’t even blink. There was a short pause followed by a tray being pushed towards his face. He blinked taking the tray out of smalls hands. The girl nodded once before backing out of the room and closing the door. Jim was left sat on the floor with a tray of soup staring at a locked door. The past few days had taken an odd turn.

Lifting the spoon to his mouth Jim began to laugh. It started out irregular but it began to lengthen and fill out till he was full on laughing. He could practically hear Bones complaining about him going mad but either he laughed at the ridiculous situation or he cried. Dammit he was a Kirk he wouldn’t cry over soup.

Still giggling he placed his tray aside and lay back on the carpet. He was all alone. No one in the room. No one in his head. All he had for company was his thoughts and some creepy statues. He’d been drugged and kidnapped, placed in a glass cage and guarded by a tiny female Vulcan who was less than half his age. All in all he had the right to laugh. Staring up at a particularly ugly light fixture Jim sent a single thought of Spock and his eyes when he'd rejected him. Something painful curled up in his stomach making him want to be sick. What if he never saw Spock again? How could he tell Spock if he was dead? Tell Spock what though? That he couldn't answer. 

Sometime later Jim was sat staring out into the night accompanied by any empty soup and a spoon that he twisted absentmindedly. Hours had gone past he was sure. If he squinted he could see the light of dawn dusting the night. A knock came at the door.

“Come in!” Jim rolled his eyes, sarcasm dripping from his voice. “It’s not as though I can let you damn things locked” He muttered as the door opened. Someone entered his prison but he didn’t turn from the sleeping city.

Small feet walked across the plush carpet and stopped by Jim’s side. With the sound of rustling Jim was no longer alone with his bowl. The Vulcan child looked out at the city a silent companion. James T Kirk was not very good at keeping still let alone quiet so their tranquil silence only lasted a few seconds.

“So do you know why I’m here?” the question was posed casually but there was a weight that bled into it. Jim glanced to the side in time to see her nod.

"Do you want to tell me?" He prodded. Despite her silence he could see her hesitation. Instead of answering she placed her hand on Jim's. Confused he waited for something to happen questioning whether she was comforting him with physical contact, a pretty big Vulcan no no. After a few seconds he understood when a lyrical voice joined him in his head. 

 

My name is Sussa

 

Jim started but managed to keep his hand still under Sussa's. He'd never been joined in his mind by anyone and the experience was very violating. He hoped this wouldn't be what it was like with Spock. Oblivious to his wandering thoughts Sussa continued. 

 

You’re James Tiberius Kirk bondmate of the half breed Spock?

 

The sour taste at the word 'half-breed' caused Jim's brows to furrow. It was the first time he'd experienced this attitude first hand and he hated the thought that anyone thought Spock was anything less than perfect. He smothered down his anger directing it at the adults who'd told her as much rather then this impressionable child. No one was born prejudice. 

 

Yeah that’s me but you can call me Jim. Do you know why I’m here? 

 

On the outside he turned to Sussa hoping he'd be able to gauge something from her expression but her eyes were closed in concentration. On the inside however her voice became quieter as though she was nervous someone could listen in on their thoughts. 

 

You have been captured by the All Fathers, a cult that believes in the separation of species and planets. Sussa was matter of fact in her description ignoring the growing horror radiating off Jim. You are here because you are related to Spock. At first they thought that you were just his student and friend but when you were captured you my master looked into your mind and found the bond. 

 

But why Spock? He's not the only mixed specie in the Fedaration. 

 

My master is Vulcan and therefore it is logical to eradicate impurities in your own race. 

 

Jim blanched in disgust. These sick twisted bastards. 

 

So why are you here Sussa? I mean why bring a young Vulcan child girl to Earth? 

 

I'm not aloud to return to Vulcan. 

 

Surprise filtered across their rudimentary link mixed with a tang of anger. Suss was fascinated by how tactile this humans emotions were. 

 

Why not?

 

I was taken from my family on Vulcan at 1.4 years old and sold to a Earthen family looking for a exotic slave. Jim gasped in horror. I was then raised to be a servant until the All Fathers found and bought me. I am unable to be reintroduced into Vulcan society as I was too influenced by my human upbringing. My parents have agreed to this. It is logical to protect the many at the expense of the few. 

 

How is this logical? Surely it benefits the Vulcan race by mixing with other planets?

 

The Vulcan race is perfect as it is and therefore does not need other planets to further our evolution.

 

Jim pulled his hand away and leaped to his feet. The anger and disgust making him shaky and restless. Sussa watched the human with quizzical eyes, his emotions clear to her despite their lack of touch. Jim's muttering and pacing continued as she looked out at the city. They stayed like that for 5.83 minutes before Jim sat back down with a huff. He held his hand out to her with a pout. Taking his larger hand in her own she continued her explanation. 

 

Your bondmate was targeted because he is a high profile bond between Vulcan and Earth. If he becomes a commander on a flagship he will truly solidify the acceptance of such a bonding. Furthermore the All Farthers have discovered he has taken a human mate showing that hybrids are a danger to the Vulcan bloodline. 

 

So that's why Spock was attacked? 

 

Affirmative

 

Sussa was expecting Kirk to jump up and begin pacing but instead he was quiet and still. Even through their meld she could feel nothing. 

 

Jim? 

 

There was only silence. Then...

 

Why are we talking like this? You know through a meld?

 

Because I am defective. I am unable to communicate verbally due to a psychological trauma 

 

Once again there was silence. Sussa had little understanding of humans despite spending her formative years with them. Yes she knew of their cruelty and of their compassion but how they came to those emotions and decisions were beyond her. James T Kirk was someone who'd been kidnapped, drugged and imprisoned by those who had attempted to murder his bindmate. He had exhibited anger, confusion and disgust all seemed appropriate. But she'd expected fear and aggression towards his situation and by association towards her. Jim hadn't been violent towards her at all a novelty to her in her young life. This man was odd to say the least.  
Jim had not replied to her statement. Clearly he was intelligent was enough to see her faults and see that she was less than Vulcan. 

Jim was taken aback. This girl was only small and yet she was so sure that she was less than adequate. An image of Spock popped into his head. This child was so much like his ... his what? His bondmate? No right now Sussa was just like Spock. 

Unable to contain himself he pulled the small body into a hug. Sussa went completely still, a perfect tiny statue. They stayed like that for a few seconds before Sussa scrambled up and away from Jim. Her cheeks were a rather deep emerald green and she was looking at Jim with a mix of apprehension and awe. Without pause she picked up Jim's tray and scurried towards the door. 

"Sussa!" Jim called. She turned back, one hand full with Jim's tray and the other on the door knob. Jim grinned Chester cat like. "I'm going to get us out of here you hear me?" Now while Jim was in denial about being Spock's bondmate he definitely knew how to read the Vulcan's half expressions and he'd let Bones give him as many hypos as he wanted if that wasn't a smile. Sussa nodded and left the room leaving Jim alone. 

His smile faded and he returned his gaze to the window. 

"Come find me pointy."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you guys think of Sussa? I struggled to find a balance between child and Vulcan. Hopefully it was alright. Any tips and thoughts would be helpful I feel like I'm flying blind since it's my first fic. Thank you for reading.


	13. What Number is Your Door?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spock contemplates jail time. Bones mediates everything. Jim opens his eyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beast of a chapter. It's exam season so this took a bit longer to write. Thank you for reading
> 
> (Edited a few mistakes in the chapter. Sorry about that I'm usually more consistent when I right a chapter in parts)

Hobgoblin? Oi Hobgoblin!”

Leonard McCoy stumbled helplessly after the striding Vulcan, whose longer legs where making it mighty difficult to keep up. McCoy’s green blooded companion had been unresponsive since they’d left the dorm, giving Leonard no indication he was even alive bar for his moving and all.

“Spock wait!” There was no response. Leonard let out a angry growl, frustration making his head throb. The dynamic duo had been roaming the San Francisco streets and bars looking for the kid with little luck. Hours ago, they’d exhausted Jim’s favourite hang outs. He’d been seen before midnight at most of his favourite dives but no one had seen him after about eleven thirty. It was a small miracle that Jim was loud and recognisable in his appearance and behaviour.

Now they just seemed to be roaming aimlessly, the trail having run dry. Still Spock walked on and still McCoy begrudgingly followed. They were both worrying about Jim but only McCoy was doing it on the outside out loud.

“God dammit you pointy eared bastard would you wait!” McCoy shot forward and grabbed Spock’s arm. The Vulcan halted more out of anger than necessity. The good doctor valued his hands so he let go of Spock like he was a hot potato. He’d still managed to get the Vulcan to stop, clearly small miracles existed. Spock looked at him expectantly but hadn’t figured he get this far and came up blank.

“Doctor we need to continue to search,” Spock started off and again, only stopping when McCoy jumped in front of him.

“Where are we searching exactly?” Silence was his only answer McCoy sighed heavily. “We need a plan,” Silence was becoming his new best friend apparently. “Otherwise how are we gonna find the kid?” Finally, after a pause he received an answer.

“I am unclear on what to do Doctor,” Spock’s admission shocked McCoy more than he thought it would. Seeing the Vulcan so out of sorts, so helpless was disconcerting, like seeing your hero cry. Unable to look the Vulcan straight on McCoy dropped his gaze and stepped back before answering.

“I think we should circle back to the dorm,” he prompted gently. Spock nodded and stared at McCoy unblinking. Seeing this as his queue to take the lead McCoy began the walk back to the dorm. The silence once again picked up as they both wallowed in their own worry. After a few minutes of walking McCoy broke the quiet again with little relish.

“So, have you been using it?” Spock looked towards McCoy as they continued to walk.

“What are you referring to Doctor?”

“The bond that you and Jimmy boy have,” There was a long pregnant pause.

“How could you possibly….”

“You’re medical records. I needed them to make sure you weren’t gonna die. And then you didn’t wake up and I needed to know why so I looked up the bit under mental and happened to read the part on bonds,” he trailed off as his cheeks turned red.

The hybrid professor didn’t seem to be angry with him, though he did seem to be getting more distant, colder as he stared into McCoy’s eyes. They’d stopped walking and now stood on the pavement at the opening of an alley. The smell of piss and alcohol wafted out as a breeze picked up. McCoy began to contemplate how easy it would be for Spock to drag him into that alley and murder him. At this time of night, they were the only sober people around who’d actually remember and it would be simple child’s play to snap his neck in the inky darkness. He was just working out what Spock was going to tell the Academy how the southerner had met his demise when Spock strode off. Assuming that if Spock was going to murder him, he would have, McCoy ran to catch up.

“I am unable to contact him through the bond,” Spock stated after they’d gone a few steps.

“Why not?”

“Unclear,” Spock snapped. McCoy put his hands up in surrender, not wanting to annoy the Vulcan further for once. They walked on only breaking the silence when they’d reached the outskirts of the Academy campus.

“Do you think that he’s…” McCoy couldn’t finish the sentence as if saying it would make it true.

“I am certain that he is not.”

“Well then we’re gonna need some help,” Spock looked at him with an air of indignation. Stupid arrogant Vulcan. As they stepped onto the campus, McCoy dug his Padd out of his back pocket and started a message as he walked. He’d glance up at Spock every now and again but the Vulcan seemed to be either lost in thought, ignoring him or both.

By the time, they’d made it to the dorms there was a commotion outside the front entrance. McCoy waved the group over forming a circle in the muted darkness, a lone lamppost illuminating the angles and curves of their grave faces.

He’d awoken Sulu with a message only half an hour earlier, assuming that the budding pilot would not only awake up but also be able to assemble their rag tag group who were about as organised as a bag of stray cats when their disorganised team leader wasn’t around. Bones would do anything to be able to tell Jim to get up or to stop hiding his food in random places and forgetting he’d stashed them. Honestly, he’d do anything just to hear his voice. Uhura was the first to break the tense silence.

“What’s happening? Why are we up at this hour, Doctor?” McCoy winced at her use of his title. Man, she was pissed. He opened his mouth to answer but Spock cut in first as cold as ice.

“Cadet Kirk was kidnapped sometime during the night,” Chekov gasped and Sulu swore rather colourfully. Uhura was silent but he could see the concern bleeding into her face.

“How did this happen?” Sulu was angry much like McCoy was under all his worry.

“He went out drinking because of….” McCoy gave a covert glance in Spock’s direction. “Some stuff and he hasn’t been seen for hours,” the concern melted away from Uhura’s face.

“Maybe he is just holed up in someone’s bed drunk out of his mind on drink and sex,” She wasn’t doing a very good job of hiding the scorn in her voice. The male cadets all shifted gazes uncomfortably to the professor who despite his cold expression was emanating anger. Uhura didn’t seem to notice. Bones, having nearly become a murder victim once for night, didn’t wish to witness someone else’s death at the pissed off Vulcan’s hand. Despite him better judgement he stepped in.

“Now I know my best friend and he wouldn’t disappear like this,” It wasn’t a lie but judging by the glance Spock gave him he wasn’t permitted to tell the whole truth. Uhura blinked at him but kept her mouth shut, offering neither protest or apology. Sulu coughed and took a step towards the dorm.

“We should go upstairs, we need a game plan,” their group bar Spock nodded and made their way up into the dorm as the sun just began to touch the horizon.

*****************

Emotionlessness was something that Spock strived for. It was something all Vulcans looked to achieve. It was an ideal. An ideal that Spock was currently unable to obtain.

When he’d first woken, he’d been calculated and pragmatic, the perfect Vulcan in the face of his bondmate’s disappearance. Now hours later they’d slowed and began to plan how they were going to find Jim. The lack of action was giving Spock time to think, something he was so proficient at, at least before Jim was taken from him. At the moment he was off quilter, off centre and he was at a loss. 

Once they’d made it into Jim and McCoy’s dorm room at dawn, Spock had ignored his worried companions and holed himself up in Jim’s dorm room. He was very aware that it was a breach of privacy of the cadet that had walked away from both Spock and their bond but he needed to be connected to something of the blue-eyed man in the absence of their bond.

McCoy had come looking for him shortly after they’d first arrived, had even attempted to make him talk about it but like most humans he quickly became uncomfortable with the silence and had left. That Spock had expected, humans knew little of silence and it was a good defence against unwanted questions but he hadn’t expected McCoy’s stubbornness that was on par with his blonde best friend. So, when McCoy returned 23.4 minutes later he had been somewhat surprised. The first time that McCoy had left the room he’d looked worried, for Jim and more shockingly for Spock as well. The show of emotion on his behalf had perplexed him but he hadn’t felt the need to ask. The second appearance of McCoy was different, this time the man just looked angry.

McCoy stood in the door way looking in on Jim’s room, his higher vantage point giving him a clear view of the room’s mess and the Vulcan nestled in the middle of it. Spock was sat cross legged on Jim’s bed the perfect picture of tranquillity as he stared up at the doctor. Leonard of course knew better he could see the hands rested on the Vulcan’s knees where clenched into tight fists but he was too angry to tease.

“You alright?” His voice was clipped and sharp.

“I am adequate Doctor,” Spock closed his eyes in a feigned form in meditation. The clear lie in his moves pushed McCoy over the edge. Stepping clear of the door he waited until the conformation whish that the door was shut to start shouting.

“Dammit Spock, what do you think you’re doing Space Elf!” McCoy stormed across the room and stood in front of the sitting figure.

“I am unclear on what you mean Doctor,” This was clearly not the thing to say. If it was possible McCoy got angrier.

“You need to get yourself together,” McCoy pointed a finger towards Spock’s chest. Spock’s eyes narrowed.

“I am unclea…”

“The hell you are.”

“Doctor I’m not sure…”

“Quiet Spock,” Spock raised an eyebrow, McCoy mirrored it. “You pride yourself on being emotionless, right?” Spock neither confirmed or denied, he didn’t need to. “Well I need you as a computer now. Jim needs you as a computer right now,” the anger in McCoy’s voice faded somewhat and now he just sounded tired. “Your mourning Jim like he’s dead,” At this Spock did look McCoy in the eye, his gaze fierce.

“He is not.”

“No, he’s not so stop behaving like he is,” McCoy once again crossed his arms and stepped away from the bed, giving Spock a look that turned milk sour. “We need your computer, computer,” There was a pregnant pause. “Jim needs you Spock,” McCoy’s gaze softened slightly. Spock pondered for a moment in complete stillness.

After a moment, Spock rose and stood straight with his hands behind his back, the familiarity of the stance bringing a half smile to the southern man’s face. McCoy pressed the door open and revealed the crowded living room beyond.

Uhura and Sulu were sat on the floor their heads bent together as they chatted. Chekov was on the sofa curled around a Padd he was frowning over. Next to the boy genius was a groove in the sofa that suggested where the doctor had been sitting. In the background, there was an old-fashioned radio comm rambling on. McCoy stepped into the room getting everyone’s attention as he did but he simply turned to Spock who was following a step behind him.

“You’re going to be the next Commander of the Enterprise, right?” Spock nodded somewhat confused as to how the doctor knew that. McCoy raised an eyebrow and shrugged. “Your medical records include your first space physical,” Spock made a mental note about how he would have to bar the doctors access to his file.

“Doctor that was a most inappropriate use of your medical clearance,” He received only an evil grin in reply before McCoy plonked himself on the sofa beside the young Russian. Spock remained standing.

“We’ve been trying to come up with a plan,” Uhura waved a hand at their group. Despite his returned control on his emotions something ugly reared its head. Their friendship seemed fragile under the stress of her dislike for Jim and he was sure they needed to address the issue at some point but only when Jim himself was safe and there to defend himself.

“What do you have?” He pierced her with a single look, telling her at least silently that they were not on good terms. Uhura blinked and gave a minute nod, defeat colouring her face for a moment before she brightened again to explain.

“We think we’ve found a way to track the person who burned out your room,” The future communications officer beamed. Her intelligence and confidence making her almost glow. “They deleted the film from the Academy system of the culprit but they weren’t expecting wonder kid to be here,” Uhura leant over and ruffled Chekov’s hair laughing when he pouted at her. With an annoyed huff Chekov took over explanation.

“You see zhe clip was corrupted when I recovered it but,” Chekov gave Spock an impish grin that had Spock’s mouth twitching into a shadow of a smile. “I was able to recover zhe audio.” The baton was passed to Uhura once again.

“They are speaking in Vulcan,” Uhura grinned, excited at the prospect of solving a puzzle. McCoy who was watching the scene before him, reflected how despite their fighting Uhura and Jim were very similar in their joy for knowledge and puzzle solving. He snorted quickly how angry they’d be at him if he ever told them. 

Spock was unsure how he felt. This was a regular occurrence in his psyche and therefore he was used to the sensation but it had never felt like this. He was emotionless at the moment as he simply did not know whether to be angry, betrayed or sad. After a pause he settled on cold, swift anger that made his side beat hard and his breath quicken.

“Vulcan?”

“Yes, Spock it’s in Vulcan,” Uhura looked at him worried, he ignored it.

“I would like to hear,” His companions looked at one another at his tone, before Chekov pressed play on his Padd.

The clip began with noisy silence. The night was quiet but it had been darkened by the sound of distant cars and the occasional cricket. Among the soft chaos came the sound of footsteps that crunched across the ground with light, hesitant steps. The whirr of the camera could be heard as it zoomed in on the perpetrator. They seemed to be barely there in the stillness the sound of them dented and smooth. Then all at once the tranquilty was broken. The frattered sound of glass shattering could be heard before a shout took up.

“Tev-tor ulef kosh-ves!” The man called before the sound of his retreating footsteps began. The quiet of the night returned, only interrupted by the occasional hover car horn and the soft crackling of the fire that was slowly by surely engulfing Spock’s room. A few seconds longer and the clip cut out.

“What does it mean?” Sulu asked looking between Spock and Uhura expectantly. Uhura turned her brown eyes on Spock, asking him without words whether he wanted her to say what the words meant.

“It means “Die half breed”,” McCoy tutted as Chekov gasped. “It would appear that my attack was race based,” Even in adulthood his childhood stigma could not be removed. He was the perfect Vulcan to no one but his mother and maybe Jim. The thought of Jim made his temple hurt, as he instinctively reached towards the bond.

“Why take Kirk?” He looked sharply at Uhura, ready to snap at her if she made another hurtful remark. Pointedly oblivious to his anger Uhura continued. “Why not just take Spock? He’s the target,” to her it seemed illogical since she didn’t know of the bond, didn’t know that they had taken his very katra from him.

This was the worst of punishments they could make to him, a hybrid that was thought to be sterile and loveless in a marriage bond with a Vulcan mate, to take his bondmate from him. It was a blow that few full-blooded Vulcan survived. His madness and feral desperation were only curved by his stubborn nature that was protecting him from the loss with a heavy serving of denial. Having a human mother who never backed down had its merits. McCoy was about to answer her when Spock beat him to it.

“I need to contact my father,” Spock strode over to Chekov and held out his hand for the Padd which the boy relinquished with little effort. It took Spock seconds to contact his private family line and he only waited a few moments for it to connect. He had expected his father to answer from his office. Spock did not expect to see his mother’s desperate face staring at him as if he was a ghost.

“Spock?” Amanda looked tired and scared, much like Spock felt.

“Mother what’s wrong?”

“We got a call that you’d been attacked,” Amanda sniffed wetly, her strength gone at the thought of her son’s injury. Behind Spock his companions shared confused looks, only Chris knew any of the details. The only other person who knew was the person who’d attacked Spock. Spock came to the realisation in seconds.

“Mother where is father?” Amanda blinked at him.

“He’s on his way to see you in the Academy infirmary. Spock what’s going on?” Firmness sank into Amanda’s tone as she was once again a ambassadors wife rather than a worried mother.

“It would appear that I am being targeted,” his mother gasped. “Who told you I was injured?”

“It was,” she paused before getting up and leaving the cameras sight. She returned a minute later with her own personal comm, after fiddling with it for a few seconds she gave a huff of triumphant. “It was Admiral North,” Spock glanced to the side at McCoy trying to convey a message to him. McCoy nodded that he understood.

“Mother can you feel Father through you’re bond?” Amanda blinked at him before her attention turned inwards.

“I can’t. It must be the distance,” she shrugged. “Why?” Spock made a quick decision.

“It’s nothing Mother. I will go and receive Father,” Amanda looked unconvinced and Spock tried not to dwell on it.

“Alright then, keep in touch. Love you Spock,” she smiled at him.

“Goodbye Mother,” Spock broke off the call and stared at the blank screen for a moment. McCoy coughed loudly.

“We know what this means right?”

“Affirmative Doctor.”

*******************

Jim awake to the sound of the door opening. It was dark in the room and it took a few seconds for his eyes to adjust. There was shuffling at the door.

“Sussa?” he called questioningly. The light above his head was flicked on and the darkness was chased away to reveal who was in the doorway.

“Sarek?!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment any tips


	14. Doors on Far Away Planets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amanda does arts and crafts. Jim sleeps and plots. Sarek has a bad day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long. Exam season has been the bane of my life but now it's the summer and I'm ready to write. Enjoy

James Kirk considered himself to be a man of action. Someone who always saw an out, an escape in the face of adversity. It was odd, he supposed, that after seeing so much pain and terror he could still be so stubbornly sure about the existence of hope. But then he reasoned that without hope he would have crumbled long before he’d been scrapped off that tacky bar carpet by Pike who had Heineken under all that dried blood an officer. Without it he would have burned out before Leonard had emptied his stomach all over his boots. McCoy was a disgruntled brother who had stayed by his side despite his flaws and mistakes, something not even his blood brother had done. Hope had kept him alive long enough for him to have met Spock. Aloud him to experience all that Spock had to offer him, even if he had rejected it in the end.

Just thinking about Spock sent him into a spiral of confused and conflicting emotions. On the one hand, it gave him peace and comfort as he knew that Spock was somewhere safe away from the dealings of these twisted minds bent on his destruction. If Spock had been captured or killed then they would have wasted no time in killing him, he was of no use with Spock dead. His continued imprisonment was testament to the safety of Spock. He would not even consider him being anything less than safe and well.

Thoughts of Spock also brought up feelings of guilt and sadness because when he remembered Spock he pictured his eyes. At first as they were when they were at the coffee shop all those days ago warm and intelligent but it didn’t take long for them to morph into how they looked when he’d scrambled off his bedroom floor and left Spock alone in the dorm. The sadness that he’d glanced just before he’d turned and fled had been drilled into his memory. Alcohol had briefly held it at bay but now that he was sober and had little else to do but regret. Being kidnapped sucked.

Over the hours he’d been imprisoned he’d explored every inch of his prison. Off the side there was a small closet like room that held a toilet and a tiny shower. Unlike the beautiful art and comfort of the main enclosure this room was sparse and hardly furnished at all. He’d figured that this was to avoid any incidents since both fixtures where bolted to the wall good and tight.

In the larger room that Jim had been forced to make his home there was little of use despite the lavish details of the art. While the sculpture was a good bet it’s use was one that he could work with but he was more than a little reluctant to endanger life.  
He’d planned to smash on of the wall to ceiling windows by throwing the sculpture and then subduing anyone (bar Sussa) who came to investigate the commotion. Kirk quickly backtracked however once he considered the fact that the building, from what he could see, was well populated and encircled by sidewalks making his idea dangerous to those below. Some other plan was needed. He just had to figure it out.

By the second day he was already out of ideas, his scheming yielding nothing but a headache after hours of trying. During this time Sussa had been in a few times, offering him food and new clothes at regular intervals. The whole thing confused Jim greatly and when he asked Sussa explained.

 

No harm will come to you Jim

 

She stated plainly, her voice as smooth and calm as ever. It still jarred him slightly that a child could be so collected. The thought of what she’d been through made him want to protect her, to give her back a piece of her childhood. Jim knew all about losing a childhood he wouldn’t let such a young life face the same fate. Growing up long before their time. Sussa continued, answering his silent ‘why’.

 

The Fathers seek the destruction Spock and the harming of his bondmate would insure a feral episode. Vulcans are difficult to subdue once the madness takes hold

 

Jim bounced between relief and dread. She seemed so certain that Spock would come for him, as if there was no question. But then she didn’t know of his rejection how he had left the supposed love of his life after he had declared them soulmates. To make matters worse there had been an attempt on Spock’s life, an attempt he’d barely thought about since then. Now he just felt selfish and terrible. Even if Spock had wanted him, he surely didn’t know. Jim deserved to be at the mercy of these bastards. The only reason he was escaping was that Sussa deserved to be free.  
Cruelty was not something that should be shown to a child. Jim himself had seen too much to even consider being unaffected. He refused to let the same happen to Sussa.

So, he plotted and planned to the point of exhaustion. Only stopping when his eyes burned so bad there were tears in his eyes and his limbs felt so heavy he could barely stand to drag himself over to the cream sofa he’d made his bed.

Once there he passed out, dreaming at first in flashes, pictures appearing before him. That cold corridor and those cold eyes that had made him feel things he didn’t understand. Sitting in Spock’s lap unable to pull himself away. Spock with a quirk in his lip and a steaming tea in hand. Waking up to Spock’s embrace his bangs ruffled and his clothes askew. 

Bones when he first met him on the shuttle less than a year ago, a mixture of a groan and a laugh when the good doctor had proceeded empty his stomach on his shoes. Then flashing to Bones looking fearful as he injected Jim with a hypo, shouting at him for a good hour about how he needed to know all of Jim’s allergies. His gruff affection and surly moods making him the best drinking partner.

Chekov with his bouncing curls and his unwillingness to call Jim anything but Captain, as if saying it out loud would make it happen. How the teenager laughed at the oddest things and how they would both spend nights awake tinkering, much to their roommate’s displeasure.  
Sulu with his silly grin. How he had crashed a simulation just weeks after starting at the academy, it was the first Jim and Sulu had spoken and they’d instantly hit it off. They had sparred a few times and had gone out for drinks when Chekov was elsewhere.

Then of Uhura. The bar fight, the banter and how her beauty came second to her mind. Her jokes about him banging an animal had him snorting months later. The image morphed into how he’d last seen her sad and concerned. Her brown eyes filled with a pain he couldn’t reach, not when they were both entangled with the same man.

Finally, after an immeasurable amount of time, his thoughts and regrets settled into a single scene. This dream was different, he was in control floating around a single candle. The odd scene was warped and blurred the smooth ivory surface frosted by the coldness in the air. As soon as Jim started to examine the ice he began to feel cold, as though his mind was only know understanding it should be cold. Despite his apparent control of his mental body, he could not get within touching range of the wax. There was something keeping him from the warmth of the candle, the light of the subdued flame that flickered and spluttered under a non-existent breeze. Its lack-luster burning made Jim feel an odd heavy feeling, that he was shocked to identify as sadness.

Jim snorted to himself. He’d only been imprisoned for 2 days and he was already going mad. How else could he explain how he was morning the failings of an imagery candle. And yet he could do nothing but watch the thing burn with eyes that were infuriatingly filled with tears. The whole thing was confusing as hell and not what Jim was used to, he was almost wishing for a Tarsus IV nightmare, the horror would bring some familiarity that he needed.

But his mind was as stubborn to him as it was to Bones, ignoring his orders and keeping him with the candle surrounded by darkness. In the end, it wasn’t even his mind that brought him out of his dreams instead it was a mix of strange events.

At first when Jim heard a voice he assumed it was his nightmares finally coming to claim him but he remained with the candle, the flickering flame giving him a small perimeter of light in the darkness. And yet he still heard a voice.

J…….

It was static and gravely. Deeper than Sussa’s soft tones and filled with an emotion that Jim couldn’t understand with so little to go on. It came again, louder but still unfocused.

….Jim……

The voice drifted towards him, his imagined cold melted away and glancing over he could see that the candle was slowly defrosting.

…..J..i..m…….Jim

Now the voice was louder, Jim could hear who was calling him even if it was warped.  
Spock?

There was silence then,

….Jim!....

Jim gasped and cast his mind eye around looking for Spock but there was nothing but him and the candle. The sound of water took up below his awareness. Looking down he saw there was no longer nothingness. A scene had emerged unfolding into a sandy road surrounded by water. Directly below his feet, meters away stood a figure shouting and calling to him. Though he was too far away to distinguish the face he could see black hair and a black uniform that could only be an Academy instructors uniform. It had to be Spock.

A desperation came over Jim’s mind, that road that’s where he needed to be of that he was certain. When he went to sink down however pain shot through his mind, nearly drawing him to consciousness. He paused in his struggle and the pain faded away. No, he wouldn’t be stopped. Jim moved and the pain persisted but so did he. Gaining some ground, he moved closer to Spock who all the while called and called him.

After a few moments light began to embrace Jim’s consciousness. He turned his attention to the candle he was moving away from but it was still giving a weak glow. The light was seeping out of the darkness, its lethargic perversion on the warm darkness of his mind left Jim feeling on edge, blurring between consciousness and sleep. The light persisted and all at once Spock and the candle were gone, taken by the light. It was as if something was snapping, giving in all at once. And then Jim was wake.

****************

Jim blinked at the cream ceiling. Something that he found himself doing way too often, on account of stabbed Vulcans and being kidnapped and all. It took him a moment to realise why he was awake. The clue was probably in that he could see the ceiling clearly but his awaken mind was slow and sluggish. When he did realise someone had turned the light on that he’d shut off hours earlier he shot up from the sofa turning towards the door ready to fight. He raised his arms in defence only to let then fall lax in surprise.

The man who had drugged him on that first night was busy pushing a robed figure into the room. His handsome face twisted in disgust. According to Sussa, his name was Mark and he was very against aliens and humans, assuming like the Fathers that Earth would be better without intergalactic intervention, making working with the Vulcan cult a necessary evil. Quite frankly he was an asshole. An asshole who was taking great pleasure in roughhousing Jim’s seemingly unwilling guest.

Jim would later claim that the reason it took him a few seconds to realise who was standing in the doorway was due to fatigue and the fact he’d only seen the man on a holovid once in reality however the blue eyed genius was trying to work out how Spock had aged so much since he’d last seen him. When he did recognize him however he couldn’t help yelping.

“Sarek?”

The older Vulcan stared at him unblinking, simply moving as Mark pushed him. Behind Mark’s legs Sussa appeared, her small arms full with a tray filled with two meals. Mark gave Sarek one final push before stepping around Sussa, being careful not to touch her in anyway, and slammed the door behind him. The sound of the lock sliding into place was the kind of finality even Jim couldn’t ignore, in a short few minutes Jim had a new roommate. A Vulcan roommate.

************

It’s safe to say that Sarek was having a difficult day. Even as an up standing Vulcan ambassador he could freely admit that he was somewhat aggrieved by the happenings that had recently occurred.

Sarek and Amanda had been staying together on Vulcan for a few weeks before they travelled to Romulas for a peace talk involving the destruction of the USS Kelvin. Despite two decades passing since the incident little had managed to repair the frayed edges of the Romulas Federation treaty and relationship. 23 years on and it was still raw. Therefore, Sarek had been called along with the other diplamats to form a new treaty that would completely improve the efficiency of the first that had not accounted for the actions of a madman.

It was likely, Sarek had hypothesised, that the trip would be long and tedious (at least for Amanda as he did not feel the effects of such things) and had therefore indevoured to take leave on his own planet in which to sleep on his own bed. Amanda had been agreeable to this offer and they had spent the a few contented weeks in their home away from the politics and travelling they had both become accustomed to.

Amanda had at one point expressed a need to have Spock with them but he had explained to her that it was illogical as Spock was working at the Federation Academy on Earth. His wife had agreed seeing the logical as she often did but her eyes turned sad as she exclaimed quietly.

“I miss him.”

After that Spock was not brought up again, though Sarek made a note to contact his son, as to cultivate their family bond and to stop Amanda from feeling the loss of her child. Unlike Sarek who was contented enough to know that Spock was happy and alive, Amanda needed to see her son even if they were light years apart.

It came as a surprise (as much as anything could) to Sarek just days after Amanda had commented on bringing Spock to Vulcan that his wife was already at the terminal waiting with nervous excitement in her eyes. He had not planned to contact his son for another few days, waiting for what humans called a ‘weekend’ to speak with his son. Now Tuesday, Amanda was sat bunched in his office chair her scarfs off and her eyes laughing. She turned to him for a second acknowledging him with a smile before her attention once again returned to the waiting screen.

“Spock commed me,” Amanda said without turning. Her excitement was thinly veiled, bubbling under her skin, making her almost glow. No matter how illogical it seemed. Sarek was inclined to tell her as much when the screen gave a dull ping suggesting an incoming call. Amanda seemed to be shaking with excitement, an unusually large expression of emotion that Sarek could not condone for he to missed his son, though he would never admit it, missed his son.

After a few seconds, the screen dissolved away to show not Spock but instead to show an eagle faced human sat far too close to the screen. Sarek blinked while Amanda let out a small surprised gasp. The man spoke, his voice being nasal and far too loud on account of his closeness to the microphone.

“Good afternoon, Ambrasssdor Sarek, Lady Amanda. My name is Admiral North and I bring terrible news about your son Spock.” To the relief of Sarek’s sensitive ears the Admiral sat back from the camera to reveal him uniform. “I’m sorry but your son was in a terrible lab accident and he’s in medical here at the Academy.” Amanda was silent this time but Sarek could feel her fear through their bond. It felt much like his own.

“I will travel to Earth to see my son,” Sarek stated aloud his tone cold and sharp. A strange look flitted across the Admiral’s face that looked an awful lot like excitement but it was gone before Sarek could be certain.

“There is already a shuttle being sent for you,” North glanced to Amanda who’d been silent since the being of the call. “Will you also be joining us Lady Amanda?” Amanda looked towards Sarek.  
We should both go. Her voice through the bond was worried but determined.

Spock does not need us both there. Sarek stated calmly. Amanda mentally pouted. Sarek did not mention how he was unsettled by the perverse anticipation the Admiral had at Amanda’s attendance though he was sure she’d feel it across the bond. There was a pause in which Sarek could clearly feel his wife’s trepidation then.

Make sure he’s okay.

I will.

Sarek’s focus returned outwards to focus on the disgusted fascination North seemed to have with their obvious silent conversation.

“I will stay behind in Vulcan and wait for my boys,” Amanda answered with a smile almost pointedly ignoring Sarek’s instant dislike of the man. North nodded his head in acceptance.  
“The shuttle will be arriving by the end of the day to pick you up Ambassador,” The inaccuracy of the arrival time irked Sarek but he didn’t question it. Instead he nodded and waited for North to end the call. After a moment, North leaned forward breathed a goodbye into the mic and clicked off leaving Sarek and Amanda staring once again at the waiting screen of the comm.

It only took Sarek 20.34 minutes to pack and get his affairs in order so he could travel to Earth. Any diplomatic emergencies would be handled by Sarek’s assistances and Amanda in his absence. Once he had succeeded in organising for his trip he set about attempting to calm his wife who despite agreeing that he would go alone insisted that he be accompanied by a number of baked goods that she claimed Spock favoured as well as a new knitted sweater for him as well. He had stopped her when she had started knitting him a blanket for hospital.

“He will have blankets wife,” He stated as she rushed around their home with knitting needles in her hair, her usual scarfs long forgotten in her worry.

“But he won’t have a blanket made by me,” she huffed as she selected a blue yarn from the basket she kept in her workspace. Amanda, Sarek had found in their many years of marriage, was a reserved human who was not prone to wild bouts of emotion, her love and care where expressed with quiet contentment. However, when she concerned about her family, namely Sarek or Spock, she pooled all of her emotions into knitting and baking as it was something to control while she herself felt so out of control. It was her own kind of meditation.

Years before when Spock was set to embark for Earth with the intent of becoming a Starfleet officer, Sarek and his son had discussed how much of his missions he would tell his mother to avoid an over projection of sweaters and baked goods. Even with a Vulcan metabolism there was only so much Sarek could eat. Spock had agreed and began to vet his responses to protect his mother and her human emotions.

Now however they were on full display as she continued to fret, moving away from the blanket in favour of mixing a new batch of cookies. Sarek followed her into the kitchen and caught her round the waist, giving into baser temptations to calm his panicked mate. He purred soothingly as she shook in his arms. The knitting needles slipping out of her bun allowing her hair to fall around her shoulders in waves.

“There is a 96.4% chance that Spock will be well,” This was all the comfort his Vulcan brain could give her and he saw even as he said it that it was not sufficient. His wife however surprised him as a calm washed through him, an echo of Amanda’s own. He relaxed, the burden of Amanda’s stress had obviously been making him distressed by proxy.

“Thank you,” she whispered into his shoulder. They stayed that way for 2.34 minutes until Amanda backed away and gave Sarek a small smile. “Let’s eat before you have to go.”

They spent the afternoon together until a comm came through at 34 minutes passed 3 that Sarek’s shuttle had arrived on Vulcan. Amanda was quiet when he stepped on to the but her past anxiety had not resurfaced and she was able to send him off with a strong smile and a,

“Make sure our son is safe.”  
The trip itself was uneventful. The shuttle was more luxury than the standard Starfleet shuttles Sarek was accustomed to but he gave it little thought as he relaxed into a little trance, detaching himself from the hum and rattle of the shuttle as it made its way to earth. Hours later he came back to himself just as the shuttle broke the atmosphere of Earth.

The trip was so uneventful that Sarek never saw the first blow coming. A Starfleet officer had entered the shuttle to retrieve his luggage and guide him to his son upon the shuttles arrival in San Francisco. Sarek shamefully had only seen the uniform and had barely acknowledged the young officer who had begun to guide him onto the gang way with a wave of his hand. With his back turned and attention invested in the bustling of the station the hit to the back of his head was final and a complete surprise.

The next time he came to consciousness he was in the back of a hovercar laid out on the back seat in a heap. Sluggish and achy he attempted to sit up but the movement of the car came to a halt landing as Sarek was hurled to the side and into the foot well. He gave a mental groan at the pain that shot through his temple but kept silent. The car stood idle for a few seconds before a voice came from the front. It was rough and held a mixture of glee and distain at Sarek’s predicament.  
“I think the thing is awake,” there was the sound of a door opening and closing followed by the door near Sarek’s head opening. The barrel of a phaser pointed at him, bobbing backwards and forwards as the man spoke.

“Good morning dipshit welcome to the party. Now you’re gonna come quietly or I’m gonna kill your son you get me?” Sarek gave a sedate nod. He was nudged out of the car and into the back door of a tall building the phaser digging threateningly into his lower back. After being shoved into an elevator and taken up to the penthouse Sarek would readily admit that he was somewhat unsatisfied with how his day was going.

Subsequently, he was less than pleased to be shouted at by a blue eyed young man shouting his name. It had been a long day. One that made the first meeting of one James Tiberius Kirk all the more testing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading

**Author's Note:**

> So this is the beginning. Thank you for reading to the end. Hopefully it'll get better. I hope.


End file.
